Written by: Beck

Which is why it surprises the hell out of me. John Kerry has finally named his running mate. Everyone and his dog has had plenty to say on the topic so far, and I've nothing new to contribute beyond one observation: since when does the general consensus projection of a VP pick ever wind up being a good VP pick? John Edwards has way too much in common with John Kerry. The two may have completely different backgrounds, but listening to one speak is no different from listening to the other speak apart from a minute discrepancy of accent.

I'll say this right now: John Edwards was the worst possible selection for John Kerry's VP choice. He's the safe choice. He's bland, he's friendly, he's from a vaguely different region of the United States, he's guaranteed not to offend a soul. There is absolutely nothing about this man to care about. Kerry needs to electrify people. He's managed to just about convince the entire United States that George Bush is the greatest yet dumbest nefarious mastermind since Mike Myers' Dr. Evil, but still can't get anyone to like him. When the chips are down, everyone knows in their heart of hearts (and I hate that expression I'll have you know) that if John Kerry is president, every American's chance of a sudden violent death increases astronomically over those chances under a Bush presidency.

Democrats need a reason to get out of bed and vote this November. The independent and undecided voters need a reason to decide that the Democrats offer something more valuable than increased odds of survival if they're going to be drawn away from Bush. A Hillary Clinton or a John McCain might have achieved that. The only thing John Edwards brings to the table is the Carolinas and another guy in Washington named "John". And don't be too sure about the Carolinas. After all, Gore couldn't even carry Tennessee.