Written by: Beck
I'm not sure what Barry's politics are, but I have to guess they're not too closely aligned with my own. But I can forgive anyone who
writes material like this:
BOSTON -- John Kerry accepted the Democratic nomination Thursday night in a triumphant convention climax marred only slightly by the fact that, because of a mix-up at the security checkpoint, he had to deliver his entire acceptance speech with a police dog clamped to his thigh.
I'm sure you've all heard the hypothetical before--if you could have dinner with any 5 people, who would you pick? Most people's answers tend to be a mix of the Hollywood famous, powerful politicians, and great thinkers. Screw that. If I want to have an enjoyable dinner, Dave Barry's going at the top of the list. Steven Hawking would be next, but only because I think his voice box thing is cool, not because he's one of my idols (though he is that too). The remaining three seats? Two words: porn stars.
Update: In what could turn out to be one of the most devastating turnabouts in political history, the Kerry campaign has lost two key supporters who, up until now, had worked tirelessly for the Kerry/Edwards ticket. George Stephanopoulos and Ben Affleck have both thrown their support behind independent candidate Barry. Don't believe it? The camera
don't lie.