Written by: Beck
Those men in marriages/relationships with women now find themselves in a position where they have to make up for 4 years of watching football. You're going to have to watch women's gymnastics. And you're going to have to like it. Fortunately, quasi in rem has assembled a top notch
women's gymnastics guide-for-guys. A sampling of sage advice:
You will not be able recognize any of the American female gymnasts, so don't even try. There are about a dozen Courtney's, 8 Carly's and three Brittney's. If you can distinguish betwixt them then you are a better man than I. If you desperately feel the need to drop some knowledge on the spouse for points, one gymnast who can be spotted is Mohini Bhardwaj, who has an Indian parent. On the plus side, it is fun to chant Mohini! Mohini! Mohini!
The biggest threats to the tiny American queens of the gym are the Russian, Rumanian and Chinese teams. The Russian chick to watch is Svetlana Khorkina. She is in her mid twenties, is in her 13th Olympic games and aspires to be Paris Hilton. She has been in the games so long that in every one of her routines she performs at least one move that is named after her. Point this out to the wife while watching. Trust me. Then later, after the broadcast, you can ask your wife if you two can try out a "Khorkina" or two. It should be a grab bag of fun. Most interesting about Khorkina, however, is what she has going on in her pelvic region. This is probably a point best kept to yourself while watching. Now I don't pretend to be an expert at the technology of the women's gymnastics leotard, but I am fairly certain that it should leave a little something to the imagination. Not so with Khorkina, who may have gotten some sort of promotional deal from a waxer in Moscow to sport her skin tight ensemble.
(Hat tip:
Imago_Dei)