INCITE

In which a Nobel Peace Prize winner refuses to sign on to the landmine ban treaty

2009-11-24T22:32:00.000-05:00

Yummy, yummy irony.

Inescapable

2009-10-30T23:42:00.001-04:00

For shame.

Obama diplomacy

2009-09-26T21:27:00.002-04:00

Neither East Germany nor Ronald Reagan was available for comment.

House approves bill extending jobless benefits

2009-09-23T23:53:00.002-04:00

But only to certain specific states.

The bill extends benefits for those living in states with jobless rates higher than 8.5%. Some 27 states, plus the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico, fall into this category. The national unemployment rate hit 9.7% in August, the highest in 26 years.

Now, guess how those states tend to vote...

Go on, take your time...

OK, here's the list, in highly unformatted form:
Ranking | State | Unemployment Rate | 2008 Presidential Election Result
23 MAINE 8.6 Obama
24 PENNSYLVANIA 8.6 Obama
26 WISCONSIN 8.8 Obama
27 IDAHO 8.9 McCain
28 NEW YORK 9.0 Obama
28 WEST VIRGINIA 9.0 McCain
30 ARIZONA 9.1 McCain
30 MASSACHUSETTS 9.1 Obama
32 WASHINGTON 9.2 Obama
33 MISSISSIPPI 9.5 McCain
33 MISSOURI 9.5 McCain
35 NEW JERSEY 9.7 Obama
36 INDIANA 9.9 Obama
37 ILLINOIS 10.0 Obama
38 GEORGIA 10.2 McCain
39 ALABAMA 10.4 McCain
40 FLORIDA 10.7 Obama
41 NORTH CAROLINA 10.8 Obama
41 OHIO 10.8 Obama
41 TENNESSEE 10.8 McCain
44 DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA 11.1 Obama
44 KENTUCKY 11.1 McCain
46 SOUTH CAROLINA 11.5 McCain
47 CALIFORNIA 12.2 Obama
47 OREGON 12.2 Obama
49 RHODE ISLAND 12.8 Obama
50 NEVADA 13.2 Obama
51 MICHIGAN 15.2 Obama

Ten out of twenty-nine voted for McCain. The rest all went to Obama. Yeah, there's no quid pro quo there.

What's perhaps most galling, however, is the implication that some unemployed are less deserving of others--just because their state isn't suffering as dismally... which is generally a sign of a state under better fiscal management, which is, again, generally a sign of republican administration.

So sorry all you unemployed in Texas, you're just going to have to make do as best you can. Try not to think about the fact that some fraction of the taxes you paid last year are going to be redistributed to unemployed in other states because, well, they had the good sense to vote Democratic.

Eat the Rich

2009-08-01T13:02:00.001-04:00

Headline: Tax Burden of Top 1% Now Exceeds That of Bottom 95%

Textual Analysis

2009-07-03T16:19:00.002-04:00

Q: How can you tell when an opinion piece is nothing but hollow propaganda with little to no factual heft?

A: When it contains the following sentence.

The Russian people are probably not going to come away with a pronounced negative view of Obama -- he is acutely sensitive to cultural protocol wherever he goes and has yet to make a wrong step.

Your homework assignment

2009-06-06T00:37:00.002-04:00

From an article on CNN.com about a married couple who, during thirty years of employment with the State Department, spied for Cuba:

The official also said it was unclear whether Myers acted for financial reasons, but a law enforcement official said the couple's primary motive was not money. The couple were "true believers" in the Cuban system, the official said.

"The abuses of our system, the lack of decent medical system, the oil companies and their undisguised indifference to public needs, the complacency about the poor, the utter inability of those who are oppressed to recognize their own condition," Myers wrote in a diary quoted in the federal affidavit.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to identify four false conclusions from that excerpt and realize just what sort of world view is required to arrive at those conclusions. You may turn in your homework at Monday's class. Thank you, please drive through.

Today's edition of: "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"

2009-04-21T02:06:00.002-04:00

Diane Feinstein opposes solar plant licensing in order to protect a turtle:

The Bureau of Land Management may "protect" the environment by turning down permits to build solar power plants--in the desert.

Have liberals been out in the sun too long?

Solar energy plants in the desert are opposed by Democratic Sen. Dianne Feinstein and others to protect the tiny pupfish, the desert tortoise.

In which I deliver a lengthy and thought provoking message to the federal government in commemoration of tax day:

2009-04-16T00:18:00.001-04:00

Go fuck yourself.

Words

2009-03-31T23:24:00.002-04:00

From the inimitable Mark Steyn:

The characteristically moronic behavior of the braindead British coppers transformed it from a family tragedy to a national metaphor. I have written recently in Canada of the disturbing passivity of the "citizenry", but Britain's nudged it on a stage: Even if you understand the obligation to act in such a situation, the state will forcibly prevent you and (if recent form is anything to go by) ensure that if you disobey them you'll be prosecuted - pour encourager les autres to remain obedient sheep to the government shepherd.

[...]

New Hampshire's great motto, "Live free or die", is not just a bit of bloodcurdling stemwinding but a real choice that Britons, Canadians and, alas, Americans ought to ponder: You can live as free men, with all the rights and responsibilities and vicissitudes of fate that that entails. Or you can watch your society decay and die before your eyes - as England, once the crucible of freedom, dies a little with every day.

Yes, this was actually written in a California publication

2008-12-04T15:01:00.003-05:00

Those in power in the Capitol--as well as many local politicians--make skillful use of those who rely on government services to advance their spending agenda. They use children, the disabled, the elderly and others who appear vulnerable to justify increasing taxes. When reasonable arguments are made that higher taxes in an already high-tax state could lead to fiscal ruin and less for everyone, politicians and bureaucrats use these dependent classes as human shields.

Granted, it was in the OC Register, which I hadn't actually heard of before today, but still.

Indeed

2008-12-01T03:55:00.000-05:00

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.
-- Ernest Benn

The Danneskjold method

2008-11-29T21:33:00.002-05:00

"If the 21st Century nation-state can’t even fight pirates, what’s it good for, exactly? Collecting taxes? What happens when taxpayers decide they’d rather be pirates?"

-- Glenn Reynolds

Electioneering, reductio

2008-11-11T19:39:00.001-05:00

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
- Douglas Adams

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.
- Jules Renard

On Politicians

2008-11-06T18:04:00.002-05:00

Imagine a conversation in November of 1976... imagine one person said to another, "A Deomcrat will not win a majority of the popular vote in a presidential race for another 32 years, but when one does, it will be a black man whose closest Democratic competitor was a woman, and also, the defeated Republican's running mate will be a woman." The speaker's grounding in reality--to say nothing of his sanity--would certainly have been called into question.

I think, as I'm sure will come as no surprise, that Obama's policies will be harmful to the nation. But I'm also very proud to live in a country where discrimination really is fading into the shadows of history. It's certainly not gone. But things have come a hell of a long way since November of 1976.

I even think this election will be good for the Republican party, and as a consequence, good for the country. The Republican dominated House and Senate, under the guidance of president Bush, enacted the greatest increases in government spending since FDR. That is not responsible government. Not by any definition of the word. If you look at the principles espoused in the Republican "Contract With American" from 1994, you'll find not one that the Republicans continued to embrace once Bush took office. I believe this reflects a deep flaw in the nature of politicians generally, and I despair at the type of person who is drawn to seek elected office.

In China, government officials have received the death penalty for corruption. In America, politicians typically get off lighter than civilians for their crimes. If I rob a liquor store, the impact is limited to myself, the store's employees and owners, perhaps anyone else nearby if I was waving a gun around... if you really want to stretch it, you could add all of the liquor store's customers to the list of those impacted, if distantly. When a senator is corrupt, the impact is on every citizen of his home state, and if you really want to stretch it, every person in the United States. Yet who does more jail time?

In a sense, a politician's character is far more important than a politician's politics. A person genuinely motivated out of a desire to give back to the community and serve the best interest of the citizenry is likely to make better decisions. And while individuals will certainly be wrong headed and mistaken at times, a congress of such men is likely to generally point in a positive direction. A politician motivated by the search for and retention of power cannot be trusted to make any decisions. They will be motivated by the fickle winds of public opinion and their pocket book. And yet public officialdom, from the smallest town council on up to the highest elected officials in the land, is entirely dominated by the latter type of person.

Such people--as been demonstrated countless times in the more overtly despotic variety of regimes--run nations, economies, and peoples into the ground. The things standing in the way of American public officialdom are a combination of tradition and the Constitution. Traditions weaken, change, and eb over time, but it is defense of those traditions for reason of recognition of their value to both societal stability and governmental restraint that motivates true conservatives (people who are philosophically conservative I should say, so as to distinguish from "religious conservatives" or "social conservatives" who might be quite liberal or radical in other regards).

The United States Constitution is an old document. It certainly shows its age, and its inflexibility certainly can be a hindrance in an era of high technology and rapid change the likes of which the Constitution's drafters could never have envisioned. Nonetheless, it's that very rigidity which makes it so valuable as a defense against the professional political class which I think most citizens would agree cannot be trusted with any more power than they already have. There are a great many people who seek to weaken the Constitution: to soften its provisions, to broaden its interpretation, to render it down into a list of malleable guidelines rather than fixed hard and fast rules which must be observed. To some, rigid adherence to the Constitution seems downright silly: a pointless worship of a piece of paper written in an era when bleeding sick patients still seemed like a good idea. But it is one of the few dams remaining holding back the flood tide of acquisition of power by politicians. Its continued defense by honest and idealistic people is essential to protection of our own individual rights.

I don't know what kind of politician Barack Obama is. The weirdly skewed news cycle prevented a truly clear picture from emerging. We will now find out though, whether we want to or not. Let us hope the surprise is a pleasant one. But let us prepare for the obverse.

There And Back Again

2008-11-04T16:46:00.004-05:00

When I asked Beck if I could join INCITE a few months ago, it was not without a bit of an ulterior motive. I'd had a couple post ideas brewing in my head. Since writing is a very time-intensive process for me, these never got off my internal back burner. But let me rummage through my mental file cabinet and blow the dust off 'em for a minute. These were the working titles:

Can I Really Pull The Lever For Bob Barr?
Top Ten (Thousand) Reasons I Can't Vote For John McCain
Dammit, I'm Writing In Rudy Guiliani: Why "Throwing My Vote Away" Really Isn't

And I'm going to be shelving these permanently, which is fortunate because considering this is my Election Day essay and (if I hustle) I might almost publish it before the polls close on the West Coast, it would have taken me no less than two years to write all three of those posts. Exhaustive work.

I quickly learned the answer to my interrogative first post idea would be "No" when I discovered two things. First, Indiana has optical scan ballots; second and more importantly, Bob Barr's position on Iraq is nearly indistinguishable from or even to the left of Barack Obama's: Barr wants withdrawal from Iraq "as quickly as possible" whereas Obama settles at least for "responsible and phased." But both of them prefer easy words like "mistake" to difficult ones like "victory." Funny how that extra syllable seems to stick in the craw of people who believe that the American military is somehow currently a net negative. But hey, at this point withdrawal from Iraq is like leaving the game early when your team's winning handily. Best to get out now and beat the rush. Wouldn't want to get caught in traffic with all those refugees when the whole country backslides into the very civil war we're supposedly fomenting by our continued presence.

Also, Barr spoke at my alma mater, and even though the house wasn't exactly packed, I was turned away because I wasn't a student. I'd think that the Libertarian Party nominee isn't exactly in a position to be spurning any potential voters, but given that I'm evidently not going to be a Libertarian, I probably shouldn't be so presumptuous about their GOTV efforts.

But I'd still like an answer from Barr or the LP about how to survive a post-9/11 world when the LP platform on "Foreign Policy" is one plank: Cut off all foreign aid. Seriously.

As for the other two, I'm not kidding about my disgust with John McCain. Of course, he's a damn fine American and I respect his service, but I said the latter half of that caveat four years ago about another senator named John, and I wasn't exactly giddy about voting for him, either. I'm still scratching my head on how we wound up with McCain in the first place. Rudy Guiliani seemed like the obvious and perfect choice, but his campaign was done in by his pro-choice views and his disinclination to actually campaign anywhere. So the Iowa caucuses were won by Mike Huckabee, who is basically Jim Nabors without the singing voice. Faced with the horrifying spectacle of nominating Gomer Pyle, John McCain was floated as a compromise candidate to unite the GOP's hawk and values wings, and in that role he's perfect, since John McCain has compromised on damn near everything in his political career. I suppose he made a better Republican candidate than Mike Hyukhyukhyukabee and Ron Paul (oh, snap; I so went there, and brought back souvenirs). But not by much.

I didn't feel like gagging on that shit sandwich, so I was thinking of ways to weasel out of it. Maybe I could write in Rudy Guiliani. Or Fred! Fred Thompson rocks. I think it says something about my long-held maxim that I love politics but not politicians when my two favorite candidates this year were ex-politicians who thought they could be nominated for president without actually trying to attract votes.

And that was pretty much my philosophy until a few game-changers sprang up. This is where Bill Whittle comes in and says it was the selection of Sarah Palin as VP, and while I totally <3 Sarah Palin, that's not it. McCain could have picked Romney or Pawlenty or Lieberman and it wouldn't have shaken my ambivelent inertia one jot, considering nobody goes with Plan A because they're really excited about Plan B. If I'm interested in leasing a car today, I don't care about the car I'm going to get in four or eight years.

At Protein Wisdom Pub, I argued that Joe The Plumber had the power to be a turning-point issue, but that wasn't for me specifically. I didn't need convincing about how few layers of Barack Obama needed to be peeled before the socialist in him came out; you don't win Most Liberal Senator awards by being a titan of rugged individualism and fiscal restraint.

Pointing out the attempted destruction by the Left of both Palin and Joe is getting warmer a bit, but again, the incivility of the Left comes as no surprise to me. You want to see a riot? Go to a peace march.

Joe Biden's gaffe? Please. If the fact that electing someone whose first instinct is negotiation will be considered by hostile nations to be an act of weakness actually surprises you, then I'm not sure how you can take a shower without drowning.

No, actually, the reason is a lot more petty and small: I live in Indiana, and suddenly Indiana this year is a toss-up state.

Suddenly, My Vote Matters.

I'd like to be able to stick to my principles, but considering My Vote Matters, it's tough to hang on to something so abstract when the consequences are so stark and concrete, just as many an environmentalist sang a different tune when the price of gas doubled, and "Drill, Baby, Drill!" has gone flat now that it's halved.

When My Vote Matters, it feels silly to burn it by writing in a candidate who didn't attempt to earn it when he had a chance, like Rudy or Fred. It also seems like folly to spend it on a third party that's nowhere close to me on the most important issue a government can have, or fourth/eighth/tenth parties that might but are light years away from anything even approaching relevance.

But that still doesn't mean I feel comfortable voting for John McCain, my friends.

That's when all the other small things began kicking in, and if you're like me and are only excited to vote for John McCain for (__insert_your_reason_here__), then welcome. As for me, I'm not excited for any one reason, but the combination of whatever reasons you have that have suddenly made this election something other than a fait accompli. I had believed that Indiana was such a reliably red state that if it were to possibly be considered a toss-up in the general election this year, then the entire electorate necessarily would have shifted to the left and thus Barack Obama would win by a landslide. I'm still not sure how Indiana can be within spitting distance of flipping blue but McCain still has a chance. (I have a theory, and should McCain lose I'll dash off an invective-filled diatribe that, with the speed I generally write at, should be posted just before the midterms.) (Oh, and if you think McCain has no chance, well, stay tuned.)

So count me in as someone voting against Barack Obama instead of for John McCain. That may be an immature and stupid reason to cast a vote, to which I say: They started it. In the one-word slogan of "Change," Barack Obama made himself the not-George-W.-Bush candidate. But in speeches, he generally doesn't mention the President by name, but only talks about "the last eight years," which is so vague that it's brilliant. If the last eight years sucked for you, even on a personal level, then Barack Obama is your new bicycle. "Well, I lost my job 'cause I showed up to work drunk. Then I burned my house down trying to kill spiders with a can of hairspray and a Bic lighter. Then I ran over my dog driving away from the flames. Then a cop pulled me over and gave me a DUI. So yeah, I need a change from the last eight years!"

Change could mean — and in Barack Obama's case it certainly does — that we're going to fix what ain't broke (at this moment, Iraq) and utterly destroy what's broken (the economy). Change, by itself, is not a political philosophy, but it works. Which is probably why all but one of the men who were elected president in the last four decades rode the idea of "change," at least in part, to their victories.

But with Barack Obama, it's different, because that powerful tonic is mixed with the perfect gin: an intoxicating confidence that's completely spun up. And I hate gin and tonics. (I do like a good Black And Tan, but the Democratic ticket ain't it.) The confidence in Obama is based on nothing, or as Obama supporters prefer to call it: "Hope." Hope is easier than action. (Again, it's that extra syllable that must be bothersome.) Why actually introduce bills in the Senate when you can just talk about them on the campaign stump and pretend that's what you were for all along? Telling people what they want to hear isn't nearly as difficult as doing what they want. Hillary was right.

The effect of this confidence borders on narcotic. People are so willing to believe that He Is The One We've Been Waiting For that they drop all pretense of common sense. In the Asia Times Online, a writer known only as Spengler talked about a group called "Veterans for Obama" who earnestly seemed to believe that Bush's Iraq policy was too weak, and Obama would redouble the efforts for victory. CNN's iReport found a voter who considers himself "definitely pro-life," but was still "trying to decide whether Democrat Barack Obama or Republican John McCain is more in line with his views." And in perhaps the saddest case, Christopher Buckley, son of National Review founder and godfather of the modern conservative movement William F. Buckley, broke with those who stood athwart history yelling "Stop!" to stand athwart them yelling "Stop!" The basis on which he proclaimed his defection to Barack Obama? That Obama isn't dumb enough to enact left-wing policies at this crucial juncture, because "he is, it seems clear enough, what the historical moment seems to be calling for." (I shouldn't have to provide any evidence, I hope, of the creepy ways that the more rank-and-file Obama supporters show their enthusiasm. Lest there be any doubt, Google it.)

Buckley, in addition, wrote about Obama's "first-class temperament," especially when compared to McCain, about whom Christo had once thought the same way but now he calls him "irascible and snarly," as if McCain's volcanic temper hasn't always been the major knock on his presidential electability for the last eight-plus years. This became a major theme during the late stages of the campaign; Obama was "cool" and "confident" while McCain was "erratic."

Since I met Beck because of poker, I don't think it's totally inappropriate if I talk a little cards here. Let me give you the number-one "tell" that poker players look for in their opponents when faced with a significant decision: Strong means weak, and weak means strong.

When CNN's Anderson Cooper questioned Barack Obama on the relative similarity between his legislative experience and Sarah Palin's executive experience, Obama actually answered — are you sitting down? — that part of his experience includes running his own presidential campaign. This is nothing less than astonishing; it's the desperate tautology of the mega-bluffer. I'm making a big bet because I have a good hand. I have a good hand because I made a big bet. Or, in this context: I'm running because I have experience. My experience is that I'm running. Or: I will bring "hope" and "change" because I say so.

The Obama campaign has tried very hard to conceal that the emperor has no clothes. They all but attached a TelePrompTer to his head because when the words aren't in front of him, he tends to say something dumb. And when he does ("cling to guns and religion," "spread the wealth"), the instant comeback to the criticism is that it's a "distraction." We're an unbeatable juggernaut. The only way we lose is if you "distract" the voters, and we won't let that happen. YOU CAN'T WIN.

And when the Obama campaign stays on point, that's generally the unified message, as this pro-Hillary Obama staffer leaked:

This has been the Obama campaign’s sole strategy from the very beginning! The only way he wins is over a dispirited, disorganized, and demobilized opposition. This is how it has been for all of his campaigns. What surprises me is that everyone has fallen for it.

But have they? Barack Obama has certainly made the kind of gaffes you would expect of a campaign where the wheels are coming off. Remind us where Jacksonville is again, Senator? And where's John McCain? On "Saturday Night Live" acting like he's out of money and out of strategies. Who looks stronger to you? Who looks like they're merely trying to look stronger?

And what of this massive groundswell of inspired new voters Obama is bringing to the polls? Even though I generally frown on the amateur armchair psychology that passes for voter analysis, let me provide some. If you tell me that you thought The Dark Knight was a really good movie, I may agree or not, but even if I don't, you probably won't get too upset. But what if The Dark Knight is your favorite movie? What if it has made you appreciate film in a way no other movie has? What if you see in The Dark Knight a metaphor for all your hopes and dreams? Then if I tell you I thought it sucked and that Iron Man was much better, you might just get mad, like I was insulting all that you hold dear. But even then, you could probably compose yourself; after all, The Dark Knight has a whopping 94% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes as of this writing, so all the people who don't like it are obviously in a clueless minority, one you can easily dismiss.

So, if you're an Obama supporter . . . why so serious? (And you probably thought The Dark Knight was a racial reference. Suckers.) Your guy is going to win, right? So why the visceral hatred of John McCain and Sarah Palin? Why steal all the McCain yard signs you can find? I don't remember seeing such invective toward insignificant candidates. Has anyone hated on Tommy Thompson recently? Mike Gravel?

But what about the polls?, you might ask. A fair question; RealClearPolitics has Obama up by more than 7 points, which would seem to be an insurmountable lead.

But if that's the case . . . why is McCain still trying to win? John McCain is a great many things, not all of which I like, but one thing he isn't is someone who shirks his duty. If he is really putting "Country First," then if he were doomed to lose he would try his damndest to limit the damage of the downticket races. If the GOP can hold the Democrats to under 60 Senate seats, then they still have some political pull for the next two years. McCain, as a Senator, surely knows this, and he knows that to abdicate that effort in a vainglorious quixotic holdout for the brass ring would be too mavericky even for the consummate maverick.

Furthermore . . . why is Obama still trying to win? If RCP is right on its projection, why isn't he trying to assemble a filibuster-proof majority? Or, why isn't he parking the bus in Pennsylvania and Ohio to make sure McCain doesn't establish traction (see for yourself at mapthecandidates.com)? In the month of November he hasn't been to Pennsylvania at all, but he has been to (in order) Nevada, Colorado, Missouri, Ohio, Florida, North Carolina, and Virginia, proclaiming, "We have a righteous wind at our backs."

We are unstoppable.

Give up.

Don't vote. It's futile.

Maybe, just maybe, the world doesn't revolve around the polls. Maybe if you're reading this and you haven't voted yet, you should. And maybe it's not a foregone conclusion after all.

Your Vote Matters, Too.

The New World (and the ones left behind)

2008-09-11T08:39:00.006-04:00

The thing I remember most about 9/11 is never being more aware of reality. Shock does that to you. Every single person in America, whether they were a stockbroker in Manhattan or a plumber in Spokane, had to face and admit something they don't ordinarily think of: This is really happening. Reality generally doesn't grab us by the throat like that.

There is little I can add, especially seven years later. I've already emptied my mental thesaurus, and besides words seem so petty and small when compared to such an unbelievable but horrible reality.

Today we mark the time again, as the events of that awful day have creep ever further away from the immediacy of This is really happening — they are now imprinted on our history books and our hearts: This happened. Whatever argument you want to propose on where we go from here, we can at least agree on that.

Well, most of us.

Not long ago I was filling my tank when I saw a bumper sticker affixed to the bottom of the gas pump: 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB. And in the days after that I saw the same bumper stickers all over the place in my hometown, plastered on stop signs and lampposts.

I could spend hours, days or weeks painstakingly refuting every plank in the theory that 9/11 was a self-inflicted wound, but to what end? It's been done, over and over again. Stubborn people who think crazy things are seldom swayed by reality. So instead, I'd like to send a message to the person who committed PVC graffiti all over my neighborhood, and everyone else who believes the sentiment expressed upon it:

Fuck you.

You read that right: fuck you so very, very hard.

Fuck you for casually, blithely accusing fellow Americans of the murder of three thousand of their fellow citizens for some vague ambitions of greed or power.

Fuck you for ignoring the thousands upon thousands of pieces of data and evidence that make lies of your theories, only to seize the one that you agree with, then seriously argue that that one speck invalidates everything else.

Fuck you for lying about the attack on the Pentagon so baldly, egregiously, and stupidly that even Snopes busted you on it.

And for attempting to cheat the new American heroes of Flight 93 out of their sacred honor: fuck you with a chainsaw. You dare to suggest that the phone calls they made were faked — insinuating that the recipients of those calls couldn't even tell the difference between their loved ones and impostors? God damn you all.

Fuck you for hiding your true feelings in the guise of skepticism: "We're just asking questions." They've been answered, in many cases by the smartest minds in architecture, aviation, construction, demolition, and mechanical and structural engineering. Fuck you for your arrogance in declaring that you are right and all of the experts are wrong.

And a boldfaced fuck you for co-opting the word "Truth," automatically alleging that everyone who disagrees are liars, either bought and paid-for agents of the conspiracy or ignorant "sheeple" who believe everything they see, hear and read (unless, of course, you wrote or produced it; you want them to believe then). Reality is not an episode of "The X-Files." Fuck you.

(Oh, a preemptive fuck you if you think my issues with the 9/11 conspiracy movement are politically-based because I'm one of those "sheeple" who voted for George W. Bush twice. Not at all: if you believe ex-Naval Secretary Franklin Delano Roosevelt allowed nearly the entire Pacific fleet to be destroyed to backdoor the United States into war with Nazi Germany, fuck you. If you passed out the Clinton Body Count list at work, fuck you. And if you keep sending me bullshit e-mails about Barack Obama, fuck you some more.)

And finally, a statement with a little more meaning:

I have more patience than you have bumper stickers. Also, I'm pretty sure I can outlast you financially, because even though I lost my job recently, I still have a car to put bumper stickers on. (Was that a cheap shot? I don't care. Fuck you.)

And even if not, those were the last two bumper stickers I could find, and I remember seeing at least half a dozen in total. Looks like I'm not the only one in town who says "Fuck you."

Is This Thing On?

2008-09-10T16:15:00.009-04:00

What you are about to read is absolutely, 100% true.

"Vegas, baby!"

That's what John Beck and I were yelling at the top of our lungs as we cruised down Las Vegas Boulevard in a stretch utility vehicle on a hot July night.

We'd both won several hundred dollars at Mirage's poker room, then dined at Bouchon, the French bistro inside Venetian. We were dressed to the nines, had money to burn, and were in the mood to party like rockstars. The limo dropped us off at one of the hottest nightclubs in town, and we ordered enough drinks to intoxicate the 82nd Airborne. But we were still a little bored. Around the pulsating music and gyrating dancers, I nodded to Beck and said, "Hey, I've got an idea." He perked up.

"I wanna write for INCITE," I said. This blog has a rich tradition, being a Weblog Award Finalist four years ago. Yeah, I know, 2004 might as well be four light-years away in cyberspace for how far back that was, but it really wasn't that long ago. Michael Phelps won six gold medals instead of eight. Big deal; "American Idol" is still the #1 show on TV, and the Cubs still can't win games down the stretch. It wasn't the Pre-Cambrian Era.

Beck was stunned. "You know I've only made about a dozen posts this year." I nodded. What am I going to do, complain? The posting rate on my personal blog could best be described as "glacial." I say that makes us a perfect match.

So with an enthusiastic vote of confidence — "yeah, sure, I guess" — Beck decided to let me guest-post here. And I immediately lived up to INCITE's recent breakneck pace by posting nothing for two months as I lost my job and my computer fried itself. Oh well; not like I missed anything.

But now that I'm here, I intend to drive INCITE's output to the dizzying heights of twenty, perhaps even thirty posts in 2008. It'll be a tough task to accomplish, but I'm confident that nobody really cares.

In the meantime, you can send me an e-mail. I generally reply to correspondence within about six weeks or so. But don't rush me.

Okay, not all of the above is true. I lost $500 playing poker in Las Vegas.

In which I quote the chorus from a 60's protest song with maximum ironic intent

2008-05-24T12:22:00.002-04:00

And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
don't ask me I don't give a damn, next stop is Viet Nam.
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates
ain't no time to wonder why, whoopee we're all gonna die.

What's that spell?!

Fascism Watch

2008-04-28T09:55:00.002-04:00

When bacon wrapped hot dogs become illegal, America ceases to be a country I can recognize any longer.

Bacon. Wrapped. Hot. Dogs. You should win an award for selling that. Not jail time.

The law of unintended consequences has its way with red light cameras

2008-03-14T11:57:00.002-04:00

The biggest argument in favor of red light cameras is that they increase safety. Opponents always argue that there won't be an appreciable increase in safety, and that the cameras are all about revenue generation. It turns out they were both wrong. Red light cameras actually lead do a decrease in safety, with increased accidents in areas that have installed them. From the research abstract:

Running a red light can cause severe traffic crashes especially when one vehicle runs into the side of another. Red light cameras photograph violators who are sent traffic tickets by mail. Intuitively, cameras appear to be a good idea. However, comprehensive studies conclude cameras actually increase crashes and injuries, providing a safety argument not to install them.

Things to look forward to

2008-02-13T12:00:00.001-05:00

Say hello to the future of health care!

Compare. Contrast

2008-02-07T13:57:00.000-05:00

Insane:

The Archbishop of Canterbury says the adoption of certain aspects of Sharia law in the UK "seems unavoidable".

Dr Rowan Williams told Radio 4's World at One that the UK has to "face up to the fact" that some of its citizens do not relate to the British legal system.

Dr Williams argues that adopting parts of Islamic Sharia law would help maintain social cohesion.

For example, Muslims could choose to have marital disputes or financial matters dealt with in a Sharia court.

He says Muslims should not have to choose between "the stark alternatives of cultural loyalty or state loyalty".

Sane:

Gordon Brown's spokesman said the prime minister "believes that British laws should be based on British values".

The Tories called the archbishop's remarks "unhelpful" and the Lib Dems said all must abide by the rule of law.

Definitely not at all worriesome

2008-02-04T17:25:00.001-05:00

Remember, only criminals need to fear the consequences of systemic destruction of privacy rights. But just to be on the safe side, be sure to enjoy the hell out of whatever it is you're doing right now. You know, just in case.

Two liner

2008-01-24T13:40:00.000-05:00

Headline: Obama backer accuses Bill Clinton of suppressing vote

Beck: I love it when the Democrats eat their own.

A prediction:

2008-01-22T15:32:00.001-05:00

The Democratic Party nominee for the White House will win the presidential election this year.

I'm more confident of that outcome than I am of whose going to win the Democratic nomination in the first place (probably Hillary, but she could screw it up at any point). The war is doing well, and the economy looks sketchy. This year reminds me so much of 1992--a year with a mild recession which was already over by the time Bubba actually took office--that I'm contemplating buying tickets to Lollapalooza.

My prediction could come unmade if the security situation in Iraq severely worsens or if there's another major terrorist attack on American soil. Otherwise, say hello to Americas next major military embarrassment as we cut and run in Iraq, giving a much needed propaganda victory to our enemies.

Or maybe I'm just feeling pessimistic because Fred Thompson just dropped out of the race.

Today's Moment in WTF? History

2008-01-14T17:08:00.000-05:00

Having stumbled upon a random article on CNN.com about presidential candidates and the hispanic vote, I discovered this lovely little nugget:

Hillary Clinton got off to a rocky start. While chatting with Hispanic voters in a Mexican restaurant in Las Vegas, Nevada, last week, she stretched for an analogy to explain how all Americans are connected and their problems interconnected despite the fact that "we treat them as though one is guacamole and one is chips."

Could someone explain to me what this is actually supposed to mean? And this woman wants to be president? I've had pets that were able to express themselves more clearly.

And justice for all

2008-01-11T00:39:00.001-05:00

Now that entire countries have begun banning smoking, it's only a matter of time before it becomes completely illegal. In the mean time, enjoy this story out of Germany of what happens when the justifications of the health fascists are used against them:

The owner of a small German computer company has fired three non-smoking workers because they were threatening to disturb the peace after they requested a smoke-free environment.

[...]

"I can't be bothered with trouble-makers," Thomas was quoted saying. "We're on the phone all the time and it's just easier to work while smoking. Everyone picks on smokers these days. It's time for revenge. I'm only going to hire smokers from now on."

I'm sure it won't be long before someone brings legal action against Mr. Thomas, but until then, I salute him for standing up for his right to hire and fire whomever he chooses, on whatever grounds he likes.

Got any spare change?

2008-01-09T14:58:00.000-05:00

I am so sick of hearing about change. It would not be possible for the current crop of presidential candidates to use the word "change" more frequently while still forming complete, grammatically correct sentences.

At Hillary Clinton's victory speech last night (or perhaps it was Obama's concession speech, I don't precisely recall, and it doesn't precisely matter), the audience actually began chanting "Change!" at one point. I thought that was a fitting image for a Democratic Party rally: an audience full of people who give off the same vibe as the corner homeless man begging for loose money. "Got any spare change buddy?"

I would like to hear, just once, someone point out the obvious: that people don't want change so much as they want someone who is not named George Bush. Then there's Obama who takes it to the next level: change AND hope. Hope is not a political platform. It is not a plan. Know what hope is? An expression of wishful thinking, i.e. the embodiment, in one word, of the majority of modern Democratic Party principles.

I for one welcome our new robot overlords

2007-10-19T13:31:00.000-04:00

First, read this article.

Second, read this article.

Third, connect the dots.

Finally, this post, coincidentally, is the 1500th post to INCITE. Hard to believe there was once actually such a high level of activity at this site.

Impressions of Last Night's Republican "Debate"

2007-10-10T11:32:00.000-04:00

John McCain: Sounded the most like a Washington insider. Also interestingly manages to criticize Bush for the Iraq war while being the most aggressively pro-war among candidates.

Rudy Giuliani: Sounded the most like someone I'd like to have a drink with.

Sam Brownback: Sounded the most like someone who's running for Vice President.

Duncan Hunter: Sounded the most like someone that no one outside of Kansas has ever heard of.

Mike Huckabee: Sounded the most Mike Huckabeeish.

Ron Paul: Sounded the most like a big 'L' Libertarian. I'd love it if this guy could run American domestic policy, but I'd sooner let Hillary run our foreign policy than Paul.

Fred Thompson: Sounded the most like someone who isn't ready for Prime Time. When asked for specifics on Social Security he spent a minute rambling then named one specific. After having earlier said that devaluation of the dollar is a major problem, was unable to give a good answer to the question, "Why is devaluation of the dollar a problem?" It seemed like the best part of his preparation was the part that involved thinking up snappy one-liners, of which he had several. Overall a disappointment, but I don't think anyone was actually watching apart from me, so no biggie.

Mitt Romney: Sounded the most presidential. I don't like Romney. I think he's one of the most liberal candidates in this field. But he is the one who gives off a major presidential vibe. Considering that Americans are more inclined to vote for physical appearance than policy platform, I think Romney is the man to beat: tall, nice dark hair, powerful confident speaking style. I think I'm starting to understand how he, a Republican, could win the governorship of Massachusetts.

9/11/07

2007-09-11T12:57:00.000-04:00

Mourn America. And never forget.

How I hope he really means it

2007-08-27T16:44:00.000-04:00

Rudy Giuliani, discussing tax policy:

"I’ve seen how pro-growth policies lead to broader prosperity. We'll not only keep the current tax cuts in place or their equivalent, we'll enact additional tax relief and give the Death Tax the death penalty. High tax rates hurt business and destroy jobs. I know that tax cuts are good for the economy. It's not just theory for me because I cut taxes and got results as Mayor of New York City. As President, I will cut taxes further."

My fear is that it's just a matter of shoring up the support of fiscal conservatives in the right wing and not genuine sentiment.

Headlines which strike fear in my heart

2007-08-24T14:29:00.001-04:00

Romney unveils national healthcare plan.

"We're going to make health insurance affordable. We're going to get on track to have every citizen insured. And we're going to reduce the rate of growth in health care spending," Romney said in an exclusive interview with McClatchy Newspapers previewing the proposal that he'll unveil Friday in a speech to the Florida Medical Association.

Evidently Romney's campaign strategy is to be the most liberal Republican since... George W. Bush.

Rhetorical Flourishes

2007-08-22T23:18:00.001-04:00

Barrak Obama on the Daily Show addressing his lack of experience [paraphrasing slightly as I don't have the exact wording], "No one had a better resume than Dick Cheney or Donald Rumsfeld, and you see where that has gotten us."

The fact that experienced people have failed in the past is not an argument in favor of inexperience. But people eat this shit up. Eat it. Up. Come line up for your ration of shit, folks, it's election season!

In case you were wondering

2007-06-26T16:53:00.000-04:00

I also write (strictly poker) content for Steal the Blinds.

Finally, after 3 years, 3 months, and 9 days

2007-06-13T16:23:00.000-04:00

Glenn Reynolds responded to an email I sent! While I've had a few Instapundit links before, they were always from carnivals that I hosted. Now, that I'm no longer actively pimping this site, I send him an email (without bothering to include my URL) and get a response.

Original email:

Subject: It's a civil war!

CBS headline: Hamas Appears to be Winning Civil War

link: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/06/13/world/main2921799.shtml

Obviously, CBS just didn't get the memo.

John Beck.

Response:

Heh. Thanks.

Post generated as a consequence:

"HAMAS APPEARS TO BE WINNING CIVIL WAR:" Wow, that was fast. Just yesterday we were merely on the brink.

UPDATE: Related item here. "The MSM's reluctance to call the Gaza civil war a civil war --the New York Times this morning refers to 'what is beginning to look increasingly like a civil war'-- is because the Gaza meltdown doesn't fit the tired media narrative that sees America as 'breeding terrorists' in Iraq and the conflict in the Palestinian territories as the result of Israeli oppression." Yeah, this almost looks like terrorism is the preferred tactic of Arab terrorists for reasons of their own, or something.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Okay, now that Mahmoud Abbas is calling it a civil war, can we consider it official?

Political Maunderings, Part 2

2007-06-01T11:03:00.001-04:00

Make no mistake about it, taxation is nothing more nor less than theft at the point of a gun. It's a point which has been made numerous times before, but it bears making again. And again and again and again. When the government demands your tax payments, there is an unspoken, "Your money or your life," and the threat is backed by fire power. Sound preposterous? Try not paying your taxes. They'll take your money and throw you in jail. So much for your life. You decide to decline their offer of permanent residence behind bars? Try telling the police officer who comes to take you away that you're not going anywhere with him. Just try it. I recommend using this line: "You're not taking me anywhere against my will, and I'm willing to do anything necessary to prevent you."

Enjoy your close up view of the barrel of a gun.

Political Maunderings, Part 1

2007-05-31T11:53:00.000-04:00

Socialism is state sponsored theft and slavery. The degree to which the state taxes its citizens and controls the hiring and firing of labor is the degree to which the state engages in theft and slavery respectively. Communism is merely socialism taken to its logical extreme. Choose your system of government and its governors accordingly.

Fred Thompson at last

2007-05-30T13:02:00.000-04:00

Fred Thompson evidently intends to declare his candidacy soon, with rumors suggesting he'll do it on the anniversary of the death of John Adams. He seems cut from the mold of Ronald Reagan, and has a lot of the attributes which seem to be lacking in other Republican front runners. Charisma and a willingness to say things which might actually be perceived in an unpopular light by someone somewhere at some point. If nothing else, it will nice to see a candidate unafraid of occasionally speaking his mind, even if it means pissing off a fair number of people. To quote a friend of mine, "I would love for him to come out and say, 'Government doesn't solve the problem, government is the problem.'"

Aptly, the same friend also observed, "I'm actually excited to see how much he is going to disappoint me."

Briefly...

2007-03-30T13:05:00.000-04:00

Steve Forbes endorses the candidacy of Rudy Giuliani. And that, my friends, does more to encourage me about Rudy than anything I've heard prior. Why? Glad you asked. Remember when Forbes made a moderately successful run for the Republican nomination back in the 90's? Remember the single issue which propelled him into the spotlight and added legitimacy to his whole campaign? That's right. The flat tax. Forbes is to be a "Senior Policy Advisor" to the Giuliani campaign, and that means good tax policy. Let's hope.

Next, Scott Burgess's interview with Michael Chriton is definitely worth reading. The subjects range from climate change to nanotechnology to GM food.

Finally, the UN Human Rights Council continues to hold itself up as the greatest embarrassment of a great embarrassment. Every additional dollar that goes to the support of the United Nations serves to weaken freedom just a little bit more.

If you didn't see this coming, then just do us all a favorf and tear up your voter registration

2007-03-29T10:48:00.000-04:00

Alternative title: Welcome to Europe!

Proving once again that the Democratic Party is the party of socialism, here it comes, wait for it... wait for it...

The largest tax increase... in history!

It turns out that actions really do have consequences. On well, time for the Republicans to shine at what they're evidently best at: being the party of opposition.

A public service message with nothing whatsoever to do about politics. Honest.

2007-03-27T08:21:00.000-04:00

I would like to formally request a favor from all of mankind: please don't drive in the left lane of the highway ever again.

Thank you for your consideration.

And just for you, I'll elaborate a bit. You see, I used to rant about fools driving slowly in the fast lane. And by, "Slowly," I mean, "Less than the speed limit plus twenty."

Maybe at some point--perhaps if this post gets any comments--I'll explain exactly why it is that I have a problem with people driving only 10 MPH over the speed limit in the left lane. For right now though, I'll just stick to why I now want none of you at any speed in the left lane.

You see, I've come to realize that every single person on the road, by driving in the left lane, is being inconsiderate to every other person who would like to arrive at their destination marginally faster than other lanes permit. This even applies to people like myself who would rather be going faster than the typical left lane driver, as we leave slower left lane drivers stuck either trying to find an opportunity to slide out of our way for a few seconds, or trying to understand why suddenly someone is driving very close behind them and flashing their high beams.

So, the only possible solution which discriminates against no drivers of any vehicle of any sort? Completely close the left lane off altogether. Once no one can take advantage of the opportunities provided to faster, abler drivers by the left lane, no one will be discriminated against and we will all have moved a step closer to the all-embracing equality towards which idealists everywhere have long aspired.

In case you'd like to share your thoughts with me on this matter, I'll be the guy going 135 down the freeway. On the shoulder.

Perhaps it's best not to think about it too hard

2007-03-26T13:32:00.000-04:00

Looking for inspiration for something to read about, I clicked over to CNN.com to have a look at the headlines. I was not disappointed. Right there on the front page I see the leed story, Coroner: Anna Nicole Smith Didn't Suffer.

Anna Nicole didn't suffer... and I still don't care. I just can't find it in me to care about the trials and tribulations of this woman and her bizarre entanglements. And yet I'm still fascinated by it! The number of people laying claim to fatherhood of her daughter alone defies belief. The magnitude of our collective obsession with this freakish story is equalled only by the insignificance of its importance.

So much of life is like that though. Just look at the upcoming presidential contest. Republican front runner Rudolph Giuliani is on his third wife, has had cancer, and lived for a while with a gay couple. Democratic front runner Hillary Clinton is, well, married to Bill Clinton. Barack Obama has one hell of a colorful story, and the current Republican dark horse of choice? Fred Thompson, an actor. He'll be in good company with other former actors-turned-politician Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse Ventura, and others.

And by "others" I mean "Sonny Bono."

And why is all of the above both true and relevant? Because, just like the Anna Nicole story, we prioritize our decision making according to criteria completely bereft of merit. Put more simply, we humans are really bad decision makers. Inexcusably bad.

Which makes you think twice about the virtues of Democracy.

Friday Quickie

2007-03-23T09:56:00.000-04:00

Stolen word for word from my little Joke Of The Day gadget on my nifty customized Google homepage:

A man is sitting on a bench in the park reading a newspaper. Suddenly he throws the paper onto the ground and yells, "All politicians are assholes."

A man sitting next to him in a finely pressed suit says, "I take offense to that!"

The pissed-off guy asks him, "Why? Are you a politician?"

"No," he replies, "I'm an asshole."

I imagine you can figure out for yourself why I like this joke so much.

The score

2007-03-22T14:03:00.000-04:00

Not that anyone is reading this site currently, but in case any of my old readers should choose to return, and should they prove curious about where I've been, here's a bit of an explanation...

Starting in 2006, I found myself far too busy with my job to continue writing for INCITE. Before, I'd had the sort of schedule and work load that allowed for voluminous reading and plentiful writing. That vanished with a major promotion to kick off 2006. Now, however, I'm leaving the company I've been working at two and a half years. I'll be moving in with my girlfriend and, most importantly, not employed. So, once again, I'm going to have the time necessary to devote to blogging.

Not that there won't be changes. At the hight of INCITE's over-three-year history (the anniversary passed unremarked on March 3), I was spending the entire day reading and writing, cranking out 3-5 longish posts a day. My plan now is to write, at most, one post per day. I'll be happy if I can sustain a pace of four per week. Further, I plan to do less of the link-and-comment style post I always tended towards in the past (see the two posts prior to this one for an example of the style) and more of writing straight up thought pieces where I rant and ramble about whatever crosses my mind.

I'm also not going to be going out of my way to market this site like I did in the past. From now on, this is going to be my place to come and ruminate. To think out loud. As such, I've decided to convert INCITE from a group blog into a solo blog. I've removed all the other writers from this site (not that they actually ever wrote very much). The archives of what they've written shall remain, but they shan't write anything new. If anyone out there in the internets wants to read this site, great. If not, that's fine too.

Over the next two to three weeks I'll be quite busy--I'm moving to Connecticut (sayonara New Jersey!). So I may again lapse into silence for several days or even a week. But rest assured, my long hiatus from the blogosphere has come to an end.

Shorter version: Beck's back bitches!

Poor decision making skills

2007-03-21T12:36:00.000-04:00

When feeling homesick during a camping trip in the woods with your Boy Scout troop, what's an ADHD addled 12 year old to do? Go wandering off at random through the woods in order to hitchhike home. But of course. That's chapter 1 of the Boy Scout Manual.

A 12-year-old Boy Scout missing for four days in North Carolina's wilderness wandered away from his campsite because he was homesick and planned to hitchhike home, the boy's father said Tuesday.

[...]

Michael told his father he slept in tree branches during the night, drank river water and prayed he wouldn't get sick. He said he got homesick because some of his closest friends had not gone on the camping trip, so he planned to walk to a highway and hitchhike to his home in Greensboro, North Carolina.

"We're going to have that lecture about hitchhiking again," Auberry said.

You might want to think about also having that lecture about not wandering off into the woods completely at random again too. I have a suspicion this kid, despite escaping Darwin's clutches once, will still find some creative and (hopefully) amusing way to remove himself from the gene pool at some point in the future.

United Nations, fearing insufficient impotence, seeks to neuter self

2007-03-20T13:14:00.000-04:00

The now disbanded U.N. Commission on Human Rights was once exhibit 'A' for those seeking to highlight the flaws of the United Nations system. The fact that the very organization tasked with identifying & condemning human rights abuses internationally was composed of a long list of the world's worst human rights abusers provoked cries of outrage and demands for reform.

One of the eventual "reforms" to actually take place was the reinvention of the Commission into the Human Rights Council. Evidently when it comes to reform, the best the UN can muster is to swap one C-word for another & rearrange the order. Now, nations who are marginally less coddled than before are seeking to slash what little symbolic power remains to the UNHRC.

Cuba is leading a bid by a number of countries to strip the Human Rights Council of its power to investigate and condemn violations, a move some activists warn could jeopardize the whole U.N.'s credibility.

The 47 member states of the new U.N. watchdog, set up last year to replace its largely-discredited predecessor, are quietly negotiating a package of measures which will define its role.

At stake is the fate of "special procedures" -- independent investigators appointed to report on countries where abuses are suspected. The former Secretary-General Kofi Annan described these rapporteurs as the "crown jewels" of the U.N. human rights machinery.

Crown jewels, family jewels, take your pick. The United Nations' never ending descents into farce never fail to amaze and amuse.

My advice to the United States on how to react? We should back Cuba. Back Cuba, and at the same time, expand their efforts. If the United Nations can't be abolished, at least we can limit it to the few things it actually does well, namely keeping unelected bureaucrats comfortable and well fed so that they can go about condemning the United States for the crime of being more successful than anyone else.

Testing

2007-03-14T13:44:00.000-04:00

Time to warm up the engines.

I'm not dead yet!

2006-08-08T21:29:00.000-04:00

Just asleep.

Nick Berg Thou Art Avenged!

2006-06-08T07:26:00.000-04:00

Zarqawi is meat.

Help a brother out

2006-05-07T00:42:00.000-04:00

One of the best bloggers out there could use a hand. Blogs are free for the reader, but that's not the time (and web hosting fees) of the authors is not. Jeff Goldstein of Protein Wisdom is one of the only people on the web I would voluntarily pay to read, so I encourage anyone with the cash to spare to give his tip jar a little stimulation.

I knew there was a reason I liked Heinlein so much

2006-05-05T07:55:00.000-04:00

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.
- Robert Heinlein

(From Google's Quote of the Day)

Elite Justice

2006-05-04T11:55:00.000-04:00

This from CNN's latest reporting on Moussaoui's trial:

CNN security analyst Peter Bergen said Moussaoui was a would-be terrorist who at
most was on al Qaeda's fringe. He doubted that the plot's true masterminds --
Khalid Shaikh Mohammed and Ramzi Binalshibh -- will be brought to justice.

"It was their idea, their execution -- they're in American custody, and
I don't think they're ever going to see the inside of an American courtroom,"
Bergen said

So let me get this straight, even though Khalid Shaikh Mohammed and Ramzi Binalshibh are in American custody, they won't be "brought to justice" until they go through a long media circus trial where they get a million opportunities to denounce the U.S. and then escape the death penalty because of a tough childhood.

It's quite amazing to me, and quite scary I might add, that this reporter's conception of justice is entirely limited to the confines of a civilian court decision. I am afraid that many in our elite share this view, and it is emblematic of the disconnect between their starry-eyed conception of reality and the harsher realities of the wider world.

The Fine Art of Contradicting Yourself in One Sentence

2006-04-28T11:27:00.000-04:00

The West continues to perfect the art of completely contradicting itself within the space of a single sentence.

An excellent example from our Spanish NATO Allies:

"On Iran, there was unanimity," Spanish Foreign Minister Miguel Angel Moratinos told reporters. "Although the clear message to the Iranian authorities is one of firmness, we have to continue with the diplomatic path." (italics added)

And we're surpised that Iran doesn't take the West seriously?

Our Judeo-Christian Heritage

2006-04-18T16:42:00.000-04:00

A very interesting debate on the importance of religion in the West.

Check out the comments for an especially inciteful comment by a fellow named Dave.

http://www.wolfgangbruno.blogspot.com/

Worth your time

2006-04-12T13:18:00.000-04:00

Steve H. of Hog on Ice has started a new project: Roller Coaster of Hate.

Funny stuff. Checkitout.

A Few Quick Thoughts

2006-04-05T07:24:00.000-04:00

1) The French Riots are fascinating.

They may very well be a signature of stressed globalization.

These dissenters seem to have amalgamated into an alliance of young people furious with the transfer of burden to themselves; large and growing budget deficits, destruction to the environment; large and growing future payments – and a disproportionate amount of the cost of actual globalization allocated to them – e.g. risks within the initial employment – i.e. it's very difficult to initially establish oneself effectively, owing to all sorts of systematic risk like shitty first boss.

2) New Orleans is done. It is a function of MASSIVE government purchases of levees since 1927 (the devastating loss following the massive flooding from the Mississippi flood) that have failed due to pollution and then Katrina. Katrina appears to be the equivalent of at least 70 years of current pollution. It is absolutely done. No one will offer insurance – not a single name.

3) Federalism: How can it answer the need for Federal influence in the investment of infrastructure? The use of Long Term Bonds (30 YEARS MOTHERFUCKER) is used by every "functioning" economy in the world, save the United States. It is a fascinating borrowing – it bets against current opportunity, and perhaps current subsistence, and knowing that success is guaranteed, pays back that opportunity through a functioning economy that is self-sustaining and self-expanding. This means we must commit to a satisfactory level of investment in public schools – it will never appear cost-effective in the measurement of contemporary metrics: net operating profit, return on equity – for the functional measurement of a cared-for child and the deficit of the "prudent invest-ee" requires 10 years to understand. Invest in the kids – we can do it intelligently, but this requires us to understand that public dollars invested in this endeavor will not yield traditional returns.

For your listening pleasure

2006-03-28T14:47:00.000-05:00

What could be better than Jeff Goldstein and Ace teaming up to do a Webcast?

No need to answer that question.

They're coming on at 4pm Eastern time. You have been notified.

Details here.

The greatest invention ever

2006-03-27T13:57:00.000-05:00

Final proof, if any was yet needed, that Genetically Modified food is a good thing.

Geneticists have mixed DNA from the roundworm C. elegans and pigs to produce swine with significant amounts of omega-3 fatty acids — the kind believed to stave off heart disease.

That's right folks. Bacon that's good for your heart. Talk about living in exciting times!

(Hat tip: Laurence Simon)

In which I ask a question which seems to have no rational answer

2006-03-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

How does a group of people--close to a fifth of the world's population--arrive at the point where it's actually possible for them to be completely and utterly derailed by... cartoons? The latest bit of proof that the world has gone mad:

A group of 27 Danish Muslim organizations plan to sue Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten in a Danish court and file a complaint against Denmark with the UN Commission on Human Rights over the publication of cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad in Jyllands-Posten and other European newspapers. Group lawyer Michael Christiani Havemann told AP Friday the group will bring a defamation suit against Jyllands-Posten in the Danish court. The declaration comes on the heels of an announcement by Danish top prosecutor Henning Fode Wednesday that he will not charge Jyllands-Posten because the cartoons did not violate Denmark's laws against blasphemous and racist speech.

Note, this isn't 27 Danish Muslims bringing a law suit, it's 27 Danish Muslim organizations. It should also occur to the observant reader that there's something wrong with Denmark having "laws against blasphemous and racist speech" in the first place. But most of all, it boggles the mind that these Danish Muslims fail to realize how profoundly silly they look claiming that a cartoon constitutes a human rights abuse.

What a strange world I live in.

Things which should have been done sooner

2006-03-17T14:26:00.000-05:00

From Investors Business Daily:

The government is finally getting around to unloading some of Saddam Hussein's secret documents. A look at just a few pages already leads to some blockbuster revelations.

In the early stages of the war that began three years ago, the U.S. captured thousands of documents from Saddam and his spy agency, the Mukhabarat. It's been widely thought the documents could shed light on why Saddam behaved as he did and how much of a threat his evil regime represented.

Yet, until this week, the documents lay molding in boxes in a government warehouse. Now the first batch is out, and though few in number, they're loaded with information.

Among the enduring myths of those who oppose the war is that Saddam, though murderous when it came to his own people, had no weapons of mass destruction and no terrorist designs outside his own country. Both claims now lie in tatters.

As we've reported several times, a number of former top military officials in Saddam's regime have come forward to admit that, yes, Saddam had WMD, hid them and shipped them out of the country so they couldn't be detected. And he had plans to make more.

Now come more revelations that leave little doubt about Saddam's terrorist intentions. Most intriguing from a document dump Wednesday night is a manual for Saddam's spy service, innocuously listed as CMPC-2003-006430. It makes for interesting reading.

Here, for instance, are the marching orders for Directorate 8, the Mukhabarat's "Technical Affairs" department: "The Eight Directorate is responsible for development of materials needed for covert offensive operations. It contains advanced laboratories for testing and production of weapons, poisons and explosives."

It goes on. Directorate 9, we discover, "is one of the most important directorates in the Mukhabarat. Most of its work is outside Iraq in coordination with other directorates, focusing on operations of sabotage and assassination."

The document also discusses the Mukhabarat's Office 16, set up to train "agents for clandestine operations abroad." The document helpfully adds that "special six-week courses in the use of of terror techniques are provided at a camp in Radwaniyhah."

Got that? Terror techniques.

Even as the media studiously avoid these new documents — just as they avoided 500 hours of Saddam's personal tapes showing his scheming on WMD — it's clear the U.S. did the right thing in invading Iraq and taking out a formative terrorist threat.

Read the whole thing, as a man says.

I expect plenty more revelations will be uncovered in the coming weeks as the public begins providing the government with the translation services which have been thus far lacking. I also expect we'll have cause to regret that a more vigorous translation effort hadn't been launched much sooner.

(Hat tip: Instapundit)

The Happy St. Patrick's Day Post

2006-03-17T09:28:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

There's the aborter, where's the abortee?

2006-03-06T16:24:00.000-05:00

This picture appeared on CNN under the headline "South Dakota bans nearly all abortions". Well almost, on CNN, the woman was completely shaded in ominous black, but for some reason she came up pink when I uploaded it.

Anyway, it seems to me that if I was creating a graphic for a story on abortion I might have included something else that is missing from this montage, like, oh I don't know, maybe an image of a FETUS. But clearly CNN didn't want a fetus to interfere with this dramatic display of a clearly distressed woman contemplating the loss of the free exercise of her womenhood and gazing at her last line of defense against tyranny - the courts.

Weed at Wally World

2006-03-03T17:58:00.000-05:00

Wal-Mart is going to stock the emergency contraceptive pill in all its stores now that a couple of States have forced it to stock it in stores within their borders. As Wal-Mart explains, it's a legal drug, and what one State makes us do, others will soon make us do.

What did I tell you? Soon enough, wherever there is legalized marijuana, there will be your local Wal-Mart to provide it for you. Think about how much more convenient it will be to pick up your marijuana at a friendly, efficient Wal-Mart. Think about how much easier it will be to make yourself as incoherent and confused as Speculator in Amsterdam.

Happy Birthday to INCITE

2006-03-03T16:18:00.000-05:00

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the creation of the humble weblog known as INCITE. Isn't that nice?

In celebration of that anniversary, Speculator has published the first thing he's written on the site in ages. I leave it to you, dear reader, to interpret just what that signifies.

So I Went to Amsterdam for the Night

2006-03-03T16:17:00.000-05:00

Two Thursday's ago I was into my 6th hour of an indefinite delay at ORD and into my second bottle of super shitty wine at the "Chili's Too" in Terminal U Concourse 37, where, I proudly admit, I waited in line for 48 minutes to patronize.

So, the story goes something like this: I was pissed and hated my job. Then it suddenly occurred to me that the impending weekend was a 3-day bonanza, the February Labor Day, if you will (Why this had not happened on me sooner is admittedly odd). So, I booked a roundtrip ticket and one night hotel at the Renaissance Hotel Amsterdam for materially under $1K (it was 3X this to have 2 nights). A Thu evening European booking for a Sat departure... not bad.

Below is my effort to put pen to paper following my daily recommended dose of vegetables in AMS. Nothing extraordinary, nothing necessarily of merit, just a whole bunch of...

Note: nothing was doctored - this is how it sat on my screen when I finally slept like I was guilty.

I’m worried how the euro sign wilthatsonly one l

This is what I think about computers

Time – it was always time – I never lost sight of the fact that this had an end.. and im n ot there yet

Holy shit this is gonna read like I wrote this a

Cause I thought why is it hatt these damn software providers allow me to tyope like a jakcass but still provide ayou with discernable streams

That last one took me a whiule – but this one is zipping right through>>

What is it that I am telling that im an analyst to? (And don’t infer anything by the selection of “what”) (I need to find a better way to say that_)

I guess I am sobering up now – I now know that I need to remain certain that I am not going to die central Amsterdam

I am an analyst

That is the only way I just got through that [that on second read noted as a classic pronoun this is going to read horribly ]

It wanted to delete the entirty of the last assemb =ly of words

I cannot believe how bad it just got

Why didnt jesus actually write anything down himself?

lI still feel raw

The thought would come, but there was no allocation of capacity to the walk

Im done with it – why would I ever want to go back there again – ever – you lost all ability to assume that the summary of your action swould produce a predicted net result, i.e. you deferred it – you couldn’t handle it saved locally 1904

I never want to see that again –

i need

I remember beign frightened for my life – I did not know htat I could guarantee the next several minutes wouldn’t pass by without my complete loss of control –

I regcognize that I have to get this completely understood…thjis being the just had experience - I recognized I had fucked up – I bit off far (past any estimate) more than I could chew

And i

Something I can support

2006-03-01T16:42:00.000-05:00

Quoted in its entirety:

MANIFESTO: Together facing the new totalitarianism

After having overcome fascism, Nazism, and Stalinism, the world now faces a new totalitarian global threat: Islamism.

We, writers, journalists, intellectuals, call for resistance to religious totalitarianism and for the promotion of freedom, equal opportunity and secular values for all.

The recent events, which occurred after the publication of drawings of Muhammed in European newspapers, have revealed the necessity of the struggle for these universal values. This struggle will not be won by arms, but in the ideological field. It is not a clash of civilisations nor an antagonism of West and East that we are witnessing, but a global struggle that confronts democrats and theocrats.

Like all totalitarianisms, Islamism is nurtured by fears and frustrations. The hate preachers bet on these feelings in order to form battalions destined to impose a liberticidal and unegalitarian world. But we clearly and firmly state: nothing, not even despair, justifies the choice of obscurantism, totalitarianism and hatred. Islamism is a reactionary ideology which kills equality, freedom and secularism wherever it is present. Its success can only lead to a world of domination: man's domination of woman, the Islamists' domination of all the others. To counter this, we must assure universal rights to oppressed or discriminated people.

We reject cultural relativism, which consists in accepting that men and women of Muslim culture should be deprived of the right to equality, freedom and secular values in the name of respect for cultures and traditions. We refuse to renounce our critical spirit out of fear of being accused of "Islamophobia", an unfortunate concept which confuses criticism of Islam as a religion with stigmatisation of its believers.

We plead for the universality of freedom of expression, so that a critical spirit may be exercised on all continents, against all abuses and all dogmas.

We appeal to democrats and free spirits of all countries that our century should be one of Enlightenment, not of obscurantism.

12 signatures

Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Chahla Chafiq
Caroline Fourest
Bernard-Henri Lévy
Irshad Manji
Mehdi Mozaffari
Maryam Namazie
Taslima Nasreen
Salman Rushdie
Antoine Sfeir
Philippe Val
Ibn Warraq

(Hat tip: PW)

Stop or I'll shoot again!

2006-02-17T17:01:00.000-05:00

New York police recently shot a woman in what's being termed a "stabbing incident." Long story short: crazy lady stabs her neighbor 8 times with a big honking cooking knife, cops come to the scene, tell her to drop the knife, she came at them, and the cop shot her twice.

Sounds relatively normal right?

Oh, I left out one detail. The woman was 65 years old.

Officers shot and killed a 65-year-old woman after they said she stabbed her neighbor at least eight times in an apparent dispute over the woman's cat, and then refused their orders to drop her knife.

[...] The officers found Padula, 59, bleeding profusely and pleading for help just inside the door of her apartment. As one of the officers went to her aid, Lindboe [the crazy old lady] flung open the door of the apartment across the hall and brandished the knife over her head with both hands, police said.

The officer tried to retreat and civilian witnesses heard him shout, "Police! Drop the knife! Drop the knife!"

But Lindboe continued to move toward the officer, knife still raised, prompting him to fire two shots, police said. One shot hit her in the chest.

Tell me something. Am I being unreasonable in assuming that a New York police officer should be able to disarm a 65 year old lady without shooting her a couple times?

Now, I can understand that standard police procedure when being attacked by a knife wielding maniac is to just drop the person. Attempts at disarming and/or wounding can simply lead to severe injury to the officer. But if a cop can't see clear to bending the rules a bit when it comes to a sixty-five year old lady, then that cop hasn't sufficient mental faculty to be making the sort of life-or-death decisions which come with the territory of wearing a gun on your hip as an agent of the state.

Did I mention that it was a 65 year old lady?

The officer involved should be ashamed, and his actions are a disgrace to the New York police.

Cheney's Got a Gun - The Whole World's Come UnDone

2006-02-17T13:50:00.000-05:00

The headline for this article: "Man Shot by Cheney Leaving Hospital"

OK, at first I believed them when they said this was all just an unfortunate hunting accident. But now the V.P. shoots some poor guy leaving the hospital. This is getting out of hand.

Let's Do the Easy Stuff Too

2006-02-17T09:13:00.000-05:00

Right now the United States has about 150,000 troops in harm's way trying to accomplish the incredibly difficult task of bringing democracy to unprepared Islamic populations. Despite the odds against success, the Bush administration believes the stakes are high enough and the options few enough that it's worth the gamble. Still, no one will deny now that this is by far the most difficult component of our defense strategy.

That's why I am just flabbergasted by our inability to do some of the simpler things at home that would also significantly improve our security. I am particularly astonished by the sale of our ports to the UAE, an Islamic country where a large proportion of the population sympathises with terrorism. Somehow the U.S. can muster the will to attempt dramatic transformations abroad at huge national expense, but we can't even make simple decisions at home like prohibiting our ports from being sold to countries filled with terrorists and terrorist sympathisers.

I know what the first counter argument is - we need the UAE's cooperation in tracking down terrorists in their own country and don't want to alienate them. But how effective can the UAE really be in eliminating the terrorist elements within their own country? Does anyone really think that the UAE will eliminate all the terrorists and sympathisers embedded in its population, and does anyone really think that none of these individuals are working for the huge firm that will be running America's ports? What is the worse outcome, to have less cooperation from the UAE in tracking down terrorists within the UAE, or to hand over America's ports to a country where over 80% of the people oppose our policies on terrorism.

I know some people would now point out that it is not just Middle Eastern countries where there are terrorists embedded in the population. After all a British company is currently running the ports and July 7th proved that there are more than enough terrorists within Britain. OK, fine then, how about this - let's have an American company run our ports. But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

The Black Lining

2006-02-16T22:01:00.000-05:00

The French Foreign Minister has come out with an unequivocable statement that France believes Iran is pursuing nuclear technology for military means. Britain is backing this statement, and Germany seems to support it as well.

This is good news right? It means Europe is finally starting to get serious about the threat from Iran, right? Isn't it the silver lining on the big grey cloud of Iran's nuclear program?

Well, I don't think so. Consider this: Here we are with the question of Iran's intent pretty much settled. No one's denying (other than Iran) that this is a program bent on aquiring nuclear weapons. And the reaction is.. (drumroll)

America: 'We're very concerned but we'll continue to give diplomacy a chance'
Europe: 'Let's not talk about military options, we're going to solve this problem diplomatically'
Russia and China: 'We're very concerned about all this - that is, we're very concerned that America might approach this problem militarily, which is an idea we're very opposed to'

So, personally, I think this is a big black lining on the grey cloud. Even when Europe acknowledges the incredible threat that is developing in Iran, they still can't muster anything more than tut-tuts and incantations of their faith in the miracle of diplomacy.

The world's a dangerous place. Even if we somehow dodge this particular bullet, the continued spineless posturing of Europe, the outright opposition of Russia and China, and the growing American difficulty with juggling global security on its own, are good indications we won't escape the next bullets.

Dean Democrats crossing their fingers

2006-02-15T09:53:00.000-05:00

It turns out that if Harry Whittington dies as a result of the hunting accident, Cheney could face criminal charges. The 78-year old Whittington did suffer a minor heart attack as a result of the shooting, so it is a possibility.

Considering all this, I am quite sure that Mr. Whittington is in the thoughts and prayers of millions of Dean Democrats across the country. For Mr. Whittington's sake, let's hope those prayers aren't answered.

Weed: Coming Soon to Your Local Wal-Mart

2006-02-14T22:40:00.000-05:00

Wal-Mart has just been told by the Massachusetts state pharmacy board that it must stock so-called emergency contraceptives at its stores within the state of Massachusetts. This is because the state policy requires pharmacies to carry all "commonly prescribed" medicines. I doubt Massachusetts is the only state with this law on its books.

You know what this means - if you live in a medical marijuana state you'll soon be able to drop by your local Wally Mart for your daily dose of Dope. Ol' Mary Jane is certainly a "commonly prescribed" drug in these states, so it seems a pretty sure thing that marijuana, just like every other new item WalMart chooses to stock, will soon be much more efficiently and economically distributed throughout the country.

Personally, I am not opposed to marijuana legalization, but I don't like where all this is leading to. It seems that companies should be able to decide for themselves whether they stock products that are used for purposes like recreational drug use or the destruction of human life.

What's really crazy

2006-02-14T21:50:00.000-05:00

Brit filmmaker Michael Winterbottom, whose anti-American film "The Road to Guantanamo Bay" is picking up accolades at the Berlin Film Festival, says the point of the film is to show how bizarre it is that Guantanamo even exists.

"If someone had said five years ago that the American government was going to create a place, in Cuba of all places, because holding those people would be illegal in their country so they couldn't take them to their country... they would hold people for four years without any trial and often even without charge, people would have thought you were crazy."

Well how about this for crazy?

If someone had said five years ago that Islamic terrorists were going to crash hijacked airliners into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, killing thousands of Americans in hideous fashion... and that the worldwide reaction over the next four years would be indignation and finger pointing over the fact that America doesn't afford terrorists captured in war all the rights and due processes given American citizens, people would have thought you were crazy.

And if you had said that after this attack on America a Brit film maker would actually invite captured terrorists to the Berlin Film Festival, people would have thought you were sick.

Maybe I am sick, or crazy, but I am not surprised at all.

Ronald Inflames the 'Muslim Street'

2006-02-14T19:39:00.000-05:00

Ronald McDonald infuriated a crowd of Pakistani Muslims today by laughing aloud as he read the Mohammed cartoons. He rubbed the insult in further as he used the irreverent images of the prophet to wipe bits of pork McRibs off his pasty white face. This last insult pushed the crowd into violence, but as hard as they tried to wipe the grin off Ronald's face, he continued smiling as if he didn't mind the beating. Maybe he was still thinking of the cartoons.

The day ended in even greater tragedy when Mayor McCheese fired warning shots to scatter the crowd and Grimace was hit in the cross fire, bleeding to a slow, purple death.

Bond, James Bond.. gone, gone forever

2006-02-14T12:28:00.000-05:00

In the new Bond movie 007 apparently shoots the wrong suspect, mirroring the shooting of the unarmed Brazilian in London following the July 7 attacks. I don't know much more than that, but I am sure there is going to be a lot of existential angst over the shooting.

This is why I don't watch new Bond movies any more. Sean Connery's 007 wouldn't have shot the wrong guy, and he sure wouldn't have spent any time in the movie introspectively questioning his raison d'aitre.

The old Connery Bond movies were primarily about style, a style that created its own unique genre. Yes, there was substance, but it was shaped by the style. The new movies have lost the style, and without the style the substance is becoming nothing more than the usual hash of boring, Hollywood action-film crap.

Two things

2006-02-10T15:32:00.000-05:00

First of all, The Dissident Frogman has returned to posting after a year-long hiatus. Second of all, he made this nifty little banner:

Find more background at Samizdata. Or read Captain Dave's post on the subject.

Grievance Industry Convention

2006-02-08T09:48:00.000-05:00

Were you that upset by the death of Coretta Scott King? If you're like me, you probably didn't care that much.

It's not that I dislike her or don't respect what her husband accomplished, I just knew that as soon as she passed away her actual identity had become irrelevent, and that she had become nothing more than a symbol for the black grievance industry to rally around. And since I don't really care for the black grievance industry, I didn't really have much inclination or interest to follow King's funeral.

I initially told myself that I shouldn't look at the issue so coldly. But then today, I read this account of her funeral. A funeral should be a celebration and memorial of an individual's life. By moving the focus to President Bush, the speakers demonstrated they were more concerned with him than with King, and the crowd's approval of his speech demonstrated they were as well. The moment the speakers turned the funeral into an anti-Bush attack ad, was the moment they stripped King of her remaining humanity and transformed her into nothing more than a cold corpse used as a political tool.

So as heartless and as cold as it might make me, I am not losing a wink of sleep over King's death. But at least I do show her more respect than some of those selected to speak at her funeral.

The Muhammad Cartoons

2006-02-04T22:33:00.000-05:00

When we invaded Iraq, we heard a great deal of argument from European opponents of the war that the invasion would upset the Arab street and incite Muslims to commit violence against the West. While the war certainly generated animosity in the Muslim world, I don't recall that the invasion resulted in riots and demonstrations of the magnitude created by the Muhammad cartoons. Yet many of these same Europeans now vociferously support the publishing of these cartoons.

In light of the reaction from the Muslim world, the positions of these Europeans on Iraq and the cartoons appear contradictory. But I think for many European Leftists a very consistent motive underlies their positions - a suicidal, utopian anti-Westernism.

I can see why most people would find this argument ridiculous at first. After all, it is Muhammad and not Christ these cartoons are mocking. And the issue at stake is a Western concept - freedom of speech. But ask yourself this, if these were racist cartoons depicting Muslims as apes or monkeys, would all of these same people be jumping to their defense and republishing them? Indeed, I think many of these same people would find such cartoons quite censorable.

I believe the real reason many on the Left are stridently defending the cartoons is because they see suppression of the cartoons as a challenge to radical secularism. They believe the cartoons must be defended because acknowledging a line that cannot be crossed in attacking Muslim religious beliefs means that there is also a corresponding line that cannot be crossed in attacking Christian beliefs. And the Left accurately perceives Christianity as an impediment to their utopian visions for remaking Western society.

That said, the majority of Europeans who support the publishing of the cartoons probably do so because they genuinly believe in the freedom of the press and/or because they no longer wish to tolerate the invective and madness that has developed in much of the Islamic world.

But before we get too excited that Europe is finally waking up to the danger of Islam, we should remember that many of the Europeans who seem to be rising to Western civilization's defense are Leftists that will still viciously oppose any attempt to defend it using military means. For foreign wars, just like religion, have no place in the brave new society they are building, and their most important enemies will still be those within their own civilization that stand in their way.

The 4,897th Carnival of the Vanities

2006-02-01T07:35:00.000-05:00

OK, perhaps there haven't been 4,897 CotVs, but I'm not really sure what the count is, and I like my version better. Strangely, not one submission had anything to do with the Super Bowl. Clearly, the blosophere's priorities are not in the right place. So, without further ado, let's start the Carnival!

Editor's Selections:

This section is dedicated to posts which particularly caught my eye.

First of all, I'd like to take this bit of real estate to congratulate one of my favorite blogs, Protein Wisdom, on its blogiversary. If you're not reading Protein Wisdom on a daily basis, you don't know what you're missing.

Next up, we have Thag Not Grok God from The Skwib. Of course, pretty much any Heinlein reference is virtually guaranteed to get primary placement from me. If you can't understand why that is, you just don't grok.

Next up, Testing the Cultural Divide presents a thought piece on the use of language. The instant messaging e-culture of today, while a wonderful thing from a convenience standpoint, has lead to something of a slaughtering of language. I just enjoy anything which highlights the importance of clarity and concision in writing. Bloggers everywhere take note.

Then Stephen at Fearless Philosophy for Free Minds presents something which resonates personally. In it, the author answers a series of questions originally posted on Reason asking how far should a pro-war libertarian be willing to compromise in the cause of said war? Even if you don't agree with the war, or libertarian political philosophy, or Stephen's own answers, the post should prove thought provoking.

Blogging at its best is on display at The Scientific Activist, in which an animal rights protest at Oxford is reported on live, followed by volumes of analysis. A thoroughly enjoyable post, along with yet another reminder of how the scientific community is perpetually threatened by ludites of one kind or another.

The Radical Libertarian offers a post about the chains of slavery imposed by religious doctrine. A post certain to offend a great number of people, I wanted to give this one prominent billing.

Humor:

I put the humor category near the top because frankly, there isn't enough of it out there these days. That, and because it's my blog, so I do what I want with it. That, and it gives me an excuse to give a random picture from The Family Guy some prime blog real estate. So there!

First up, Madeleine Kane tried to sneak this through the political category, but I was far too alert to allow that to happen! Song parodies always get better billing than politics. My blog, my rules.

Miriam's Ideas bemoans that she doesn't have a dog. Well, not really, but read the whole thing and you'll get my point.

point2point's offering this week: limericks! Who doesn't love limericks?

Play One on TV would like to remind you that not all man are natural repairmen.

The Nose on Your Face offers up a report on the latest episode of 24. It's important that we keep close scrutiny on our nation's public officials.

Science & Technology:

This section is a fairly broad catch-all including health topics and all things even vaguely sci-tech related.

Multiple Mentality reminds you that not all old websites die. Some merely hide out for a few years waiting to be Googled.

Man versus mold: BigPictureSmallOffice has the latest update in the ancient battle. It involves dogs.

Maybe this belongs in the business-econ section, but I need something to fill out science-technology, so The Browster Blog's comments on a recent statement by Yahoo!'s CFO regarding Google gets posted here. You go read now.

Business, Economics, and Personal Finance:

Hopefully you can figure out what this category is about on your own & without further prompting.

Kirby on Finance offers his first ever submission to a CotV with his post on keeping a good credit score. Welcome to the club Kirby.

fivecentnickel has a rather interesting post on a bank refusing to finance projects which use eminent domain to obtain property. The bank, BB&T North Carolina, should be commended for their principled stand.

The title of Searchlight Crusade's submission tells you everything you need to know regarding what the post is about: "Payment, Interest Rate and Up Front Costs: Choosing a loan intelligently." Makes my job easy. And it's an excellent post, so check it out.

blueprint for financial prosperity, a finalist in the "longest blog name contest," offers a post about ChoicePoint being fined for its involvement with identity theft. A most interesting post.

Wealth Junkie reports on real estate salesmen getting creative with lures to suck in new home buyers. Free toasters always do it for me.

The Pacesetter Mortgage Company Inc. blog asks a question which is on a lot of people's minds: should home buyers hold off buying in 2006? The answer is actually quite thought provoking.

Culture:

This is another broad catch-all category for a broad range of subjects. It was either that, or have a "Miscellaneous" section. Oh wait, I do have a miscellaneous section...

Ruminating Dude ruminates on the trials and tribulations of a first-time teacher.

raising4boys.com offers a story of her 5 year old showing up at home with a girl's phone number. Naturally, the mother is proud that she is clearly raising a playah.

Adam's Blog has an intriguing post on the "blogging killer."

miriam's ideas offers a post detecting an author's age in his literature.

Philosophy and Theology:

Surprisingly, I had several posts on this subject (though one person pulled a naughty by making two submissions), so I decided to break it out into its own category.

Blog d'Elisson offers a post on obligation and responsibility. It involves a horse. Just click the link already.

Reb Chaim HaQoton's post "Abominable Relations" is all about just that: abominable relations. Brief summary: don't be gay. Unless you're a lesbian, but not Jewish. Then it's cool. No really, read the last sentence of the post. I can't make this stuff up. The Reb also has a post on worshipping idols.

Goosing the Antithesis positively argues that you can prove a negative. Some of these blurbs just write themselves.

On Blogging:

Not too many entries in this category, but the picture I found was just too good to pass up on using.

First up, The Missing Link offers his blog's first post up for submission: his declaration to the world that he's blogging now, and why. Definitely give his new blog a look.

Blog Business World has a post on organizing your blogging around a blogging calendar--a must for the blogging businessman.

I'll allow Philobiblon's summary of his post speak for itself. "How blogging can pull back the veil of time. A moment of curiosity and, two years later, an answer to the question of why a man was sentenced to death in 1692."

Politics:

I saved this category for second-to-last because quite frankly, the vast majority of readers coming here most likely already get quite a bit of politics in their daily diet. This is the longest section, so you're mostly just going to get the canned summaries that came with the post submissions. Hopefully you can handle that.

The Politics of CP (this is actually a very interesting post): "I've been independently investigating Jamaat ul-Fuqra for the last few months. I'm calling for the State Dept. to (re-)designate Jamaat ul-Fuqra as a terrorist organization. Domestic agencies and the military both view them as such, why not the State Dept?"

Resistance is futile: "Alito confirmed--world to end!"

Radioactive Liberty: "Democrats love to whine, yap, and howl about "tax cuts for the wealthy." I really don't care who the tax cuts are for, I'm in favor of them. Personally, I would like more tax cuts for everyone."

Libertarian Leanings: "With votes already tallied time showing the threat of the nuclear option was off the table, Democratic presidential hopefuls were assured of a risk free vote for filibuster."

The Liberal Wrong Wing: "A historical perspective of the Presidency of Ronald Reagan."

The Unrepentant Individual: "The Future of Liberty."

TMH's Bacon Bits: "Even though the hapless filibuster has failed, I think the piece reveals a lot about Democrats through one of their up-and-comers."

ahistoricality: "A comparison of liberal and conservative "Under Reported Stories" lists."

The People's Republic of Seabrook: "How many executions of innocent men and women is an acceptable "margin of error"?" (My answer: 42).

Dodgeblogium: "Dimmit Andrew, why didn't you include a summary with your submission? Do you have any idea how long these carnivals take to put together as it is?"

Oxford University Press Blog: "May 14, 1961 - A Greyhound bus carrying Freedom Riders is attacked and firebombed outside of Anniston, Alabama. An account of that day from Ray Arsenault's new book, Freedom Riders."

Below the Beltway: "A libertarian Republican takes a look at the proposed amendment to Virginia's constitution to ban gay marriage."

Beyond Borders Blog: "No summary to see here folks."

Miscellaneous:

Nothing at all against the posts in this section, they just couldn't be easily categorized, so they wound up here. Many of them constitute the best contributions to the Carnival, so those of you who made it this far can consider it your reward for tenacity. Oh, and the picture? It's a beer pouring robot. Naturally.

Mensa Barbie has an interesting post on "America's best loved artist," Norman Rockwell.

Generic Confusion (great blog name by the way) has a fine suggestion about the next generation of office Super Bowl pools. Hint: we're moving past that whole lame "squares" thing now.

The Library Girl offers reviews of two books: Metro Girl, and The Bone Woman. You'll have to follow the link to find out if they were any good.

Grill Maestro offers, surprise, a recipe! It involves olive oil, vegetables, and BBQ.

me-ander offers a post about her new refrigerator and her family's reaction to said refrigerator. A truly gripping account of refrigerator receipt.

Free Money Finance offers an amusing anecdote involving a seven year old and a new digital camera.

monacojerry has the very last entry in this week's carnival. As such, and as a token expression of the relief I feel at being done assembling this beast, I've decided to include monacojerry's original summary of this post in its entirety. Not coincidentally, monacojerry offered the LONGEST summary of any of the 47 submissions to this carnival.

In 379 C.E., during the late period of the Roman Empire, long after the forms of the Roman Republic had been drained of content, Ausonius, of Bordeaux wrote a letter of thanks to the emperor Gratian, who himself was not from the City of Rome but was from Pannonia. The letter was occasioned by Ausonius' appointment to the position of consul, the most important elected position in the long dead Roman Republic. Ausonius is listing all of the tribulations he has been spared by emperor Gratian's appointment of Ausonius as Consul. All of the "tribulations" he lists are those that a candidate in the Late Republic would suffer. I analyze this letter and show how even late in the Empire the Emperor was identified with Republican institutions, mainly for ideological reasons. The mob of the City was feared. The Emperor as sovereign was looked at as both the embodiment and the controller of the mob.

Take it away Porky!

Upcoming COTV

2006-01-30T12:47:00.000-05:00

I somehow managed to volunteer INCITE to host this week's Carnival of the Vanities. Management of the Carnival has passed into the hands of Zeuswood, so helping him out by hosting this week seemed like the least I could do.

At any rate, if you'd like to submit a blog post to the Carnival, email it to cotvmail@gmail.com. Ideally, your submission will include Blog Name, Post title, Post author, Permalink, and a brief Summary. If you want a trackback ping, be sure to include a trackback URL in the submission. Get your submissions in by Tuesday midnight or they may well get left off. Only one submission per blog please.

Seems about right

2006-01-29T16:04:00.000-05:00

Cue the circus music.

In other news, today marks the Chinese New Year. We're going into the Year of the Dog, which is supposed to be bad luck for me, a Year of the Dragon child. Inasmuch as I'll be turning thirty this year, that sounds just about right.

Linking friends

2006-01-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine has started a blog in order to track his reading of the entire Harvard Classics book list. A quick look at the list should give you an idea of just how epic a task that really is. So if you have the inclination, feel free to check out Poor Dudley's Almanac.

Goldstein is on f'n fire

2006-01-20T08:18:00.000-05:00

Just click here and start reading. If the first post is too weird for you, fear not, the rest are all current events kinda blogging.

FYI

2006-01-12T16:55:00.000-05:00

I've been guest-blogging at Classical Values this week, as its primary writer, Eric Scheie, is on vacation. Checkitout.

Sean Penn, Martyr

2006-01-11T14:54:00.000-05:00

Sean Penn has revealed that he is having difficulty quitting smoking while dealing with the stress of living under the Bush administration.

Now don't scoff - it actually makes sense. You wouldn't ask a soldier to quit smoking while he was on a combat tour, would you? Then how could you ask Sean Penn to quit smoking now while he's constantly surrounded by peace-hating Americans? Why Bush's goons are probably hot on his trail as I write this.

Sure, he could play it safe, escape from this imperialist prison we call America, and go live with one of his third world dictator buddies (well not Saddam anymore). But no, he continues to tough it out, fighting the stress, dodging the slobbering Americans, and invoking his moral superiority over us at every possible moment, even at the personal expense of not being able to quit smoking. Indeed, he is putting his life on the line for his principles.

I think I am going to tear up. I mean we haven't seen this sort of bravery and self sacrifice in the face of oppression since Dietrich Bohnhoeffer, or maybe Ann Frank. We can only hope that Penn, faced with this horrible stress, and having only the consolations of his large fortune, freedom of speech, and safety and security, can survive long enough to teach us all what a horrible country we live in.

Random thoughts on demography

2006-01-09T21:53:00.000-05:00

Some random, hastily articulated and contemplated thoughts on demography:

1. Only a cultural change can bring back high fertility rates to the West

Some people argue that the best way to encourage fertility in declining Western populations is to create economic conditions that make child bearing easier, i.e., if it's easy to afford more kids, people will have more kids. I don't think I buy it.

Standard of living is a relative concept. For instance, what we think of us adequate personal space is different than it was 50 years ago, when a 2000 SF house was considered huge. A society's conception of a high standard of living is set by those without children. As a society's wealth increases, couples with one or no children will accumulate more material wealth and personal space, setting a higher expectation for a good quality of life (material that is).

As a result, even though a family with several children might now enjoy a higher standard of living than they would have enjoyed with only one child twenty years ago, they will still perceive child bearing as a difficult economic sacrifice, because they see children as preventing them from enjoying the material comforts the smaller families enjoy.

Consequently, there is really no way to create the economic conditions which will renew high rates of fertility - only a cultural change can do so. Either that, or a large scale wealth transfer from childless couples to families that evens out the material imbalance, but that raises all sorts of sticky issues.

2. The Rape of the Sabines, and the Thais, Vietnamese, etc

The Rape of the Sabines, although a legend, was based on a common reality. Societies often rob other societies of their women to make up for their own shortages. This still happens today in Africa on a large scale.

It's a favorite theory of many that China will have to go to war in 15-30 years because the gender gap between boys and girls (17 million and growing in the under 15 population) will have resulted in a hot headed excess male population, prone to crime and violence, that needs to be diverted to other pursuits.

Well why stop there? If you're going to have a war fueled by demographic imbalances, why not fix the imbalance while you're at it. If China ends up invading Taiwan, Vietnam, etc, why not bring some of the girls back to China and fix up the lonely boys with nice slave wives. Not a bad way to motivate the troops either, especially considering that a nationwide female shortage is a great way to build up sexual frustration and misogyny.

3. American urban areas will become increasingly unaffordable for families

As more and more couples choose to remain childless, and homosexuality becomes a more and more accepted lifestyle, urban life will become increasingly difficult for families to afford.

Childless couples don't need space and convenience as much as families do. They can also afford to indulge inconvenient political beliefs that don't make economic sense for their communities. For instance, if you're a trendy young couple in San Francisco for instance, you don't want a WalMart in your neighborhood, you don't want any new residential development, you like your expensive boutique shops, you don't mind obscene art displayed on the streets, etc, etc. Most significantly, perhaps, you don't mind living in and paying for an overpriced tiny apartment, because it's worth the cost to live in a trendy, hip neighborhood with lots of authenticity and character.

But this becomes a self perpetuating cycle of childlessness. As the conditions in the city become less and less conducive to child rearing, residents must either choose the city or a family. As a result the city becomes increasingly filled with childless couples, who can afford to indulge government politicies that are even more innapropriate for families, and who can afford to pay for increasingly unnaffordable housing and other daily necessities. Thus you end up with San Francisco, which is now actually losing population, even though it remains a highly desirable place to live.

It's too bad, because they're are a lot of great things about city life.

The psychology of superstition in a nutshell

2006-01-04T17:23:00.000-05:00

If you have watched the news at all in the past two days, you are no doubt aware of the tragedy which occurred in a West Virginia coal mine not too long ago in which 12 miners were killed. There was one survivor. At first, however, it was reported that there were 12 survivors and only 1 death.

When people thought that 12 had emerged alive, they gave praise and thanks to God.

John Casto was at the church when the false report arrived and later, the terrible news. After the first report, "they were praising God," he said. And after the second "they were cursing."

One of those gathered at the church was Lynette Roby, who said the scene turned quickly to mayhem upon the announcement.

People began screaming, "You lied to us!" and "Hypocrites!" before charging officials, Roby said, further describing the church as "a mob scene." Police intervened, she said.

And when they found out that 12 were dead, they blamed human officials.

And so it goes.

The Happy New Year post

2006-01-03T10:55:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

What do you mean it's already January 3rd? I didn't have THAT much to drink...

I Went to the Mall Yesterday

2005-12-19T10:06:00.000-05:00

"That's the thing you've got to understand about WASPS... love anmials, can't f*cking stand people." - G. Gecko

Attractive 17 Year Old Girls

2005-11-30T17:31:00.000-05:00

In his last column, John Derbyshire debated whether Jennifer Aniston is still attractive. He pointed out a fact that most open-minded men will not dispute, women are at their most attractive between ages 15 and 20. While personally I think some women are more attractive in their twenties than their teens, the fact remains that 9 out of 10 male readers will read the blog entitled "Attractive 17 Year Old Girls" well before the one entitled "Attractive 27 Year Old Girls".

But I think his point brings up a more important issue at stake than whether or not Jennifer Aniston is still attractive. Let's review the facts:

1. Rational, open minded people can agree that women are often at their most attractive from ages 15-20
2. Rational, open minded people can also agree that girls at this age are likely to be attracted to older men, as:
a. girls this age are more mature than boys this age
b. women are generally attracted to men with wealth and power, which men are more likely to possess than teenage boys
3. We as a society believe that it is not morally appropriate or advantageous for men above the age of 18 to have sexual relations with women under the age of 18, and thus have made the act illegal

These contradictions shouldn't necessarily be too much of a problem, after all, the whole point of laws is to prevent us from committing undesirable acts which our passions nevertheless incline us towards committing. A problem arises, however, when we simultaneously do our best to convince teenage girls that they should be having sex, while outlawing sexual relations with the partners they are most apt to choose. It is also difficult for men to understand the rationale of the law or to take it too seriously when they see the schools handing the girls condoms and see teenage sex normalized and condoned in virtually every form of media.

Perhaps our society needs to consider whether or not we are setting ourselves up for failure.

The Happy Thanksgiving Post

2005-11-24T06:18:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Al Qaeda's Useful Idiot at Time Magazine

2005-11-21T23:31:00.000-05:00

I had the misfortune of tuning into Anderson Cooper's news program tonight in the middle of an interview. He was speaking with another one of the media's paragons of dispassionate reporting, Time's Baghdad Bureau Chief, Michael Ware. For a quick summary of what he said, read here.

But woops, as you might have noticed, this was actually a link to comments he made in 2004. But it's really quite a good summary of what he had to say tonight, and served me well since I didn't have a chance to record the interview tonight.

Of course tonight he didn't mention the elections being a sham, as I guess he knows that would be pretty hard to swallow now. He also didn't argue that Fallujah would be repeated "here, there, and everywhere", as that would have sounded a little silly as well. And no, he did not mention soldiers "atomizing" civilians, but I am sure he would have gotten around to it if he had the time.

There were some other things he didn't mention, such as the fact that the war seems to be making a lot more Iraqis into allied soldiers rather than jihadists, or the fact that the Zarqawi seems to have alienated far more Muslims than he appears to have won over, particularly in Iraq and Jordon.

But why would he know any better? There's only so much information you can garner from sitting around your hotel lobby, talking to the other journalists and confirming each other's ignorance, and waiting for your trusted buddy from the old Iraqi Ministry of Information to come bring you your news story for the evening, and to tell you "how Iraqis really feel".

Not that I know much more sitting here at my computer desk in the U.S. But I do know enough to say that this guy is an untrustworthy hack, motivated more by ideology and Bush-hatred than a desire to provide accurate reporting. It would be nice to know the real story.

Recipe for Unnecessary Strife

2005-11-18T17:01:00.000-05:00

Here's a great way to create unnecessary strife:

Step 1: Remove Iran from the World Cup (so far I am all in favor)

Step 2: Arbitrarily replace it with Israel (huh?)

Seriously, that's what this article on NRO proposes.

I'm all for pissing off the Islamic world for legitimate purposes, but not to give Israel an automatic berth in a soccer tournament.

Why Fox News Basically Just Sucks

2005-11-16T20:31:00.000-05:00

Fox News is supposedly the balancing voice of the Right in television media, but I think that's giving them way too much credit. When it comes down to it, Fox basically regurgitates the same news cycle that the liberal media creates.

The problem comes down to what Fox reports, not how it reports it. There are an infinite number of events taking place around the world that a media outlet could report on, but only a certain number of those events can be considered newsworthy enough to be included in the news cycle. The items that make this cut, and the manner in which they are reported on, are subjective. That is simply a fact of human nature and will not change regardless of how much journalists like to think of themselves as champions of impartiality. Consequently, the resulting news cycle is largely shaped by two human desires; the desire to increase profits by reporting the news items with the highest shock and interest value, and the desire to further personal biases and agendas. Since the media is overwhelmingly made up of Left-leaning individuals, this second factor results in a news cycle that supports a Leftist agenda.

This is where Fox fails. Rather than do the reporting necessary to create its own news content, Fox reports the same information as the rest of the media, with the exception that they wear American flag pins on their lapels and use slightly less negative terminology when describing Bush, Iraq, etc. But that doesn’t change the most important fact, the news content is determined by the Left.

In Iraq, for instance, the vast majority of news reported seems selected to further the message of quagmire, chaos, and failure. But that doesn't have to be the case. There is plenty good to report. When I was in Iraq, I was always astounded by the difference in accuracy between reporting that came from embedded reporters and the reporting which came from reporters holed up in their Bagdad or Kuwait hotels. Fox could portray a much more balanced and informed view of the war by simply getting more of their reporters embedded with units and devoting more of their time and resources to actual journalism.

Fox's failure to provide much independent reporting means that many of their stories and information are purchased or picked up from liberal sources. I find this especially frustrating because Fox never seems to have any trouble getting its own information on the latest pretty, suburban white woman to disappear. Why can't they devote some of those resources to international affairs?

Take a trip to FoxNews.com. I'll bet you it will look startingly similar to CNN.com. As I write this blog, Fox is carrying the same three lead stories CNN is carrying, and two out of three of these articles were written by the Associated Press. This is supposed to be the Conservative media?

I hope we can do better. As Conservatives we are truly doomed if we are going to pin our hopes on Fox News to even out the media battlefield.

The Reverend, T.O., and Civil Rights

2005-11-13T22:40:00.000-05:00

Civil rights are clearly an important issue. But unfortunately anytime most Conservatives, including myself, hear the term "civil rights" the first thought that comes to mind is "ughhh, what now?".

This is in large part due to the likes of people like Jesse Jackson, who have abused civil rights to feed a shameless grievance industry. But Jesse, it seems, isn't satisfied with the damage he has already done to the term "civil rights". He wants to make sure no open minded person can take the issue seriously. At least that's the only conclusion I can draw from his recent defense of Terrell Owens against the Eagle's organization.

Granted, the Reverend never accuses anyone of racism in this press release. But let's face it, the fact that this is an official press release of the Rainbow Coalition makes it clear to the Eagles' organization that the ugly bugabear of race is just waiting to come out. And more importantly it is clear to the American public that the leader of the civil rights movement views this as an issue with civil rights implications.

My guess is that Jesse won't push the issue much farther (particularly if the Eagles decide to make a donation to the Rainbow Coalition), but nevertheless, the damage has already been done. The more people begin to associate civil rights with things like protecting spoiled misbehaving NFL stars, the more quick they will be to dismiss it as an irrelevent and unimportant issue.

The Dividends of Disorder

2005-11-07T21:08:00.000-05:00

I figure that the French will get a handle on the riots over the next few days and the disturbances will gradually die down and be mostly forgotten by the international media. There will be much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth among the French politicians and intelligentsia for a while, and the French Far Right will pick up votes, but the real issues brought up by the riot will be either ignored or exacerbated by further government largesse.

The real effects of the French riots will become apparent later on, and they will have less to do with the actions of the French State than with the actions of the international Islamic terrorist threat. The Islamic terrorists have long seen and understood the potential of using Europe's Muslim population to further their agenda, and have long had a significant presence in France. The scale and coverage of these riots, however, has probably surprised even them, and will encourage them to focus more of their efforts and resources on the promising European front.

After all, if you were an Islamic terrorist, which would you prefer if given the option:

a) to fight in Iraq, living in tough, uncomfortable conditions, where your likely fate is to be ratted out by fellow Muslims and hunted down and killed by American troops, or..

b) to agitate and lay the groundwork for insurrection in France, living on a comfortable government dole and enjoying all the perks and entertainments of modern life.

The riots that are occurring now are mostly a result of disaffected, bored, disallusioned, uneducated male youths, i.e., "scum", to use Sarkozy's term, doing what disaffected, bored, disallusioned, uneducated male youths usually do when given the excuse - cause trouble. But with the interest and ambitions of the international Islamic terrorist movement now attuned to France, the next time the Muslims of France riot you can be certain that it will be about much more than that.

More fun at the expense of the French

2005-11-06T14:33:00.000-05:00

From IMAO, the Top Ten Reasons Given for Rioting in France. My favorites:

8. Grueling thirty-hour work week doesn't leave enough time to brood.

5. Someone tawt he taw a German.

From Scrappleface, France to Let Rioters Govern Themselves. Ah, irony:

After seven nights of riots by youth in predominantly-Muslim sections of Paris, French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin (who is a man) announced today that police would pull out of areas where dozens of cars burn each night to, "let the freedom-fighting insurgents govern themselves."

From Point Five, Dr. Seuss meets Franz Kafka in The Frinch

"All we need's a Committee, a Benefits Plan!
The kind that has softened Frinch, woman and man!
We'll give them all Pensions! We'll give them all Cake!
And government jobs--they can be on the Take!
Some Graft! Some Free Food! And Six Weeks Vacation!
We'll give them the keys to our whole Frinchy Nation!
And leftover Vouchers For Oil From Iraq
We'll load them all up in this oversized sack!"

And finally, my favorite, via Insults Unpunished, Michael Kelly presents French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to ConvinTalibanban of Non-Existence of God. This one was actually written in late 2001, and doesn't directly relate to the riots going on now, but I just couldn't resist including it here. Brief excerpt:

Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets', will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of pavement cafes at strategic points near the front lines. There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears every five minutes and looking remote and unattainable to everyone else.

Update: Almost missed Iowahawk's fantastic contribution to the genre, French Film Star Le Pew Injured in Paris Cat Riots. A sample:

Former French matinee idol Pepe Le Pew was among the hundreds injured last night amid violent feline rioting in the impoverished Parisian suburb of Dans-le-Crappeur. Le Pew, 58, a former Warner Brothers studio actor turned Chirac government spokes-skunk, sustained severe scratches and concussions in the melee before nose-pin equipped EMT rescue squads could drag him to safety. He is expected to make a full recovery.

Paris Riots: The UN Solution

2005-11-05T23:54:00.000-05:00

Maybe the French should follow their own advice, declare Paris a UN Protectorate, and call for UN Peacekeepers to deal with the riots. Since their current policy of unilateralism is only inflaming the situation, shouldn't they give the global community a crack at the job? Why it would only take 8-9 months at most to get a suitable Security Council Resolution passed, and once that was done, soon enough they'd have UN Blue Helmets on the ground, making sure French citizens (particularly the 12 year old girls) were safe to walk the streets again.