Written by: Anonymous

Republicans tend, on the whole, to be better people than Democrats. Conservatives, even more so, tend to be better people than liberals. This is because one's identity as a Republican, a Democrat, a conservative, or a liberal is not some sort of randomly-generated condition, but rather is a result, usually, of a deliberative, philosophical process inside one's mind that is informed by, among other things, one's moral compass. For various reasons that are incredibly obvious to myself and should be but are not incredibly obvious to your average jackass voter, Republicans and conservatives, on the whole, have stronger moral compasses than do Democrats and liberals.

All this is just my long-winded way of saying that George Bush is a nice guy and John Kerry is pond-scum. Perhaps more importantly, George Bush's campaign operatives are, again on average, much nicer and better people than are John Kerry's. As a result, those of us who realize the mortal danger that Islamic fundamentalism and Democratic politicians pose to American national interests are forced to suffer through a campaign season where Kerry and his folks call the president a moron, a liar, and the like, while Bush and his folks respectfully engage Kerry in a legitimate political debate of which the average American voter is too dumb to comprehend the importance.

Which brings me to Spain (try to keep up, people). For those of you who have been living under or repeatedly beating yourselves over the head with a rock these last few days, here's a newsflash: Al Qaeda just won a fair and square election. Well, "fair and square" if you think that term means allowing several million morons and cowards to vote to make it more likely that the rest of us get slaughtered by Islamic miltants in the near future. But I digress. Last week, Spain's Partido Popular was poised to get reelected, and the Socialists who were yammering about surrendering to the Islamists had no chance of getting access to the levers of power. Then the Islamists blew up a train. Then the Spaniards elected the Socialists. Then the Socialists formally announced their surrender to the Islamists. It doesn't take an expert in the nuances of Spanish politics to understand what's important about all this -- Al Qaeda is going to walk away from this thinking they influenced the course of a Western election to their immediate advantage. And they're going to try to do it again in Eastern Europe, in Australia, in Britain, and here. And as a result, lots of people are likely to die. Perhaps even you.

Which brings me back to Kerry. It doesn't matter what you think about gay marriage, midnight basketball leagues, or the pharmaceutical woes of crabby old people. IF YOU VOTE FOR JOHN KERRY THIS YEAR, YOU INCREASE YOUR ODDS OF AN EARLY AND VIOLENT DEATH. It's just that simple, folks. Al Qaeda wants Bush out, and if we vote him out, they're going to think it's because they scared us, and that's going to cause them to try to scare us into doing other things....by killing us. You may question Al Qaeda's logic in this regard, but understand that we're talking about a bunch of fanatical imbeciles who hang out in caves and still use words like "infidel." They also don't care or (the horror!) even know about the pharmaceutical woes of crabby old people in Del Boca Vista, Florida.

We're at war, and the other side wants to change our leadership to a moral cretin who doesn't even think we're at war. Voting for Bush is a no-brainer, which means given the American public's mental capacity that this is going to be a close election. That's why Bush needs to stop being a nice guy and get ads on the airwaves warning the moronic, uh, I mean voting, public that a vote for Kerry is a vote for Al Qaeda and a vote for their own deaths. I have no faith that he'll actually do this, because like I said, Republicans are too damn nice.