Written by: Beck

So I'm watching TV with a friend, and an ad for Pentax digital cameras comes on. I wasn't paying any attention until I saw their tag-line: "The Official Digital Camera of the Internet." It was at this point that I flew into a rant, the long and tedious point of which was that you can trademark any phrase you want, but trademarking a statement doesn't make it true. "Hell," I spat out, "I could get a trademark for 'Official Straight Male Porn Star of the Internet,' but that wouldn't--" and then the light bulb went on.

And so, it is with great pleasure that I announce to you that not only am I a frenetic blogger of the right wing fringe, a co-conspirator of the VRWC, and a dashingly clever man, but I'm also the Official Straight Male Porn Star of the Internet(tm). Ladies, better get in line now before I'm all booked up. Why waste time with amateurs when you can be with the professional?