Written by: Beck
Members of the American Literacy Society
protested outside the 77th annual national spelling bee. Reason? Speling iz hard.
I mean, as someone for whom one of the world's greatest inventions is the spell checker, I can sympathize. But this is just silly. If these people could dislodge their heads from their collective posterior for significantly long enough to see the world around them, they'd realize that the English language is already headed for a sort of hybridized
instant message /
l33t speak language wherein nothing can definitively be said to be misspelled.
The protesters contend that the illogical spelling of English words makes dyslexia more difficult to overcome and helps explain why one in five Americans are functionally illiterate.
"If these people were able to read and write with a simplified spelling system, they would be able to fill out a job application, stay employed, and stay out of prison," said Sanford Silverman, 86. The retired accountant from Cleveland was handing out copies of his book, "Spelling for the 21st Century: The case for spelling reform."
He then went on to add, "It's a well known fact that over 15% of murders occur out of frustration over inconsistencies in the whole 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' rule." In fact, my use of the word inconsistencies in that last sentence will quite likely cause several incidents of spousal abuse. Omelets and eggs, ya know.