Incite -- (v) 1: give an incentive; 2: provoke or stir up; "incite a riot"; 3: urge on; cause to act
Saturday, June 05, 2004

This should not come as a surprise...
Written by: Beck

Heard at the latest editorial policy committee meeting at CNN Headquarters, Atlanta, Georgia:

Person 1: This is just nuts. The economy couldn't possibly be any better. How in hell do we spin this to make things sound bad and keep people in a perpetual state of nervous worry? If we can't find something to whine about, people might start feeling optimistic--hell, even happy! They might even, god forbid, vote for Bush!

Person 2: What if we just say that it's TOO perfect?

Person 1: Brilliant! But isn't that a load of crap?

Person 2: Well sure, but who's going to actually call us out on it? Have you forgotten that our vast left-wing conspiracy controls all media?

Person 1: Silly me.

Person 3: (Reading about the latest suicide bombing) Heh, these Palestinians crack my ass up.

First up, we have The Goldilocks Economy. Premise: everything is so perfect right now that the stock market is going to be stuck in range bound trading since everyone is afraid that even the slightest deviation from economic perfection will be disastrous. Everything is so perfect, with absolutely nothing wrong, that there's absolutely nowhere to go but down.
Around Wall Street, the talk is that the U.S. economy is not too hot, not too cool, but just right -- the fabled "Goldilocks" economy that means corporate profits can continue to grow, while inflation stays tame.

But some analysts worry that won't be enough to kick stocks out of their recent range-bound mode.

Friday's report on unemployment and payroll growth was the ultimate Goldilocks number, many analysts said. If it had been too strong, it might have raised fears that inflation and interest rates were about to skyrocket. If it had been too weak, then investors might have worried the economy was about to relapse into another slowdown, hurting corporate profits.
But enough of that. Our second story of woe and fear from the wonderful people in Atlanta pertains to the phenomenal job growth we've seen. You see, during the Democratic primary, all anyone could talk about (well, when they weren't talking about the war) was how many jobs had been lost during Bush's tenure in the White House, nevermind that he inherited a recession, launched a war, and the biggest single-event setback in US economic history had transpired. Well you don't hear about the jobs numbers anymore because job growth has been phenomenal. So let's spin it negative!
Employers are adding jobs at the fastest pace in four years, a government report showed Friday, which is great for workers but could worry investors if it slows recent white-hot gains in corporate earnings.
That's right. Losing jobs was bad, but jobs growth could be bad too. Quake in fear! Quake I say! You're not quaking sufficiently!

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