Incite -- (v) 1: give an incentive; 2: provoke or stir up; "incite a riot"; 3: urge on; cause to act
Tuesday, July 27, 2004

DNC Day 2, Take 4 - Ted "Stop Making Fun of the Size of My Head" Kennedy edition
Written by: Beck

Teddy's getting a warmer reception than Jimbo did last night.

Just made a joke at his own expense. Very lame. Left it behind. No follow through. "I plan to stay at this job 'til I get the hang of it." These people can't do comedy I tell you.

Updates to follow.

Update: I'd forgotten how much I can't stand the blue-blood variant of the Boston accent. He sounds just like... well, his dead brothers.

OK, big guy, time to stop yammering about how great Boston is. It sounds like he's running for a local election, not touting someone else for a national election.

Update: He's STILL talking about New England. It would seem that the theme of his speech is that we should learn from history. I recognize the expression on his face. I've seen it in plenty of different places before. I've even seen that expression on my own face in the mirror once or twice. It's a face which says, "I. Need. A. Drink."

"The day our ancestors fired the shirt round the world." Yeah, he mangled the phrase, and pronounced "shot" so badly it sounded like a different word. Does this guy even know what he's talking about.

WHOA. His voice just cracked when saying the word "America." The guy looks like a break down waiting to happen. And now he claims that he bears no ill will towards his opponents. Followed by a tea-party joke. He felt the need to elaborate and add that they could do it right down the road in Boston Harbor. All I can think is "Chapaquidik."

Update: Kennedy compares Kerry to JFK and John Adams--someone did last night too. John Adams would be so profoundly disgusted by the entire lot of these people...

He keeps stumbling, stuttering, and his voice has cracked four times now.

Kennedy just used the name "Cheney." First time the President or Vice President has been named since the convention's start.

Update: Seriously. His voice is cracking an average of once per sentence now. And it's getting worse. Incidentally, he hasn't made a single policy point. Nothing but rhetoric so far. Worst speech of the convention so far, and I include the scary dwarf senator from Maryland (I forget her name) last night.

Update: "We should have honored the principle... that America must give a decent respect to the opinions of mankind." I'm sorry, buddy, but I have zero intention of giving decent respect to the opinions of Islamofascists OR the French, and I have no respect for anyone who does.

Update: Kennedy is laying claim, on behalf of the Democratic party, to spearheading the cause of freedom, equality, and voting rights for all. This is, of course, factually incorrect, but then, when have facts ever stood in the way of the likes of a blowhard like Kennedy?

First firm policy statement: "We pledge a fair minimum wage." There you have it.

Update: "The only thing we have to fear is four more years of George Bush." FDR you are not big guy.

More reference now to the history of New England, invoking the memory of the patriots who fought in "The War of 1776." You know, Kennedy had a point when he harped earlier on the importance of learning from history. Regrettably, Kennedy himself seems to complete lack an understanding of the meaning of history--of the freedoms those patriots fought for over 225 years ago.

And now, of course, Kennedy is likening Bush to another George--King George III to be specific. At least he didn't feel the need to explain that one. I hate it when people explain their allusions.

Update: "...false patriots who bully dissenters into silence..." It's official, Kennedy is a Linda Ronstadt fan. In other news, Kennedy's voice stopped cracking about five minutes ago. I guess he finally hit his stride. Either that, or the double shot he tossed down before stepping up on stage has finally started to kick in. (Funny that I mentioned that. His voice cracked one last time on the very last word of his speech).

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