Written by: Beck

I've been waiting to say this for a while now.

Heeeeeeeeeere's JOHNNY!!!

Update: Teresa looks like she's laughing. I guess she too appreciates a good round of raw absurdity. She knows her husband. And she thinks this whole deal is funny.

"I'm John Kerry, and I'm reporting for duty."

There's your theme.

Update: "We are united here tonight in one purpose, to make America stronger and to make it more respected in the world." That's it?

Update: First stumble: trying to say "open minds, open eyes, and an open heart." Bit of a tongue twister.

"I am not one to read into things... but I was born in the West Wing [of this hospital]."

Now more about his parents. This is necessary, if uninteresting to me. We've been so inundated with the--

Wait, he just said, "Trees are the cathedral of nature." Beg pardon?

As I was saying, we've been so inundated with the Commander in Chief stuff that we haven't seen anything but 4 months of his life.

Update: Anecdote: young Kerry rode a bike into East Berlin and was promptly grounded by his father. I can't believe he actually got in. I mean, East Berlin was one of the most heavily guarded borders in the history of the world. Still, interesting if true. Frankly, it sounds like the kind of dumbass thing I would have tried to pull off as a kid.

Update: "My parents inspired me to serve." Kerry's delivery has thus far been excellent. "Tonight we're setting out again and together we're going to write the next great chapter of America's story." "...but only if we're true to our ideals, and that starts by telling the truth to the American people." I agree, but as for being true to your ideals, there's a lot more about your liberal and anti-war credentials that you need to either "be true to" or repudiate.

Update: He just mentioned things he did as a DA in Mass. and things he voted for as a senator. Finally. Now he's mentioned trying to bring peace to Vietnam. "I will be a commander in chief who will never mislead us into war." "I will have a VP who will not have secret meetings with polluters." "I will appoint an attorney general who will uphold the Constitution of the United States." The crowd goes wild. This is what they've been waiting 4 days to hear.

I'm beginning to see the strategy now. Leave it to everyone else to establish his tough-as-nails credentials and leave it to him to make the core happy.

He just quoted the "New jobs making $9,000 less" line. I fucking hate that line. As I pointed out yesterday and before, it's complete and absolute bullshit.

Now he's working to associate himself with the Clinton legacy--something which Gore did not do (he worked to distance himself with Clinton's problems) and which Gore paid for.

Update: He just accepted the nomination. That was still, to a tiny extent, hanging in the balance (because of campaign finance rules).