Written by: Beck

I stumbled across a relatively insignificant news item today which, in itself, isn't especially noteworthy. What is noteworthy is the way people are scrambling to try and spin things. The entire episode proves rather amusing, what with how the story doesn't especially need any spinning. I guess politicians and their handlers just don't know any other sort of behavior. So, briefly, here's the "news" item:

Heinz Kerry's comment came Sunday after she told a group of voters, "We need to turn back some of the creeping, un-Pennsylvanian and sometimes un-American traits that are coming into some of our politics."

As she was leaving, Colin McNickle, the Tribune-Review's editorial page editor, asked her what she had meant by, in his words, "un-American activities."

She denied having said "activities" and also denied saying "un-American."

After stepping away and speaking briefly with Democratic organizers of the event, she returned and asked the reporter whether he worked for the Tribune-Review. He said he did. "Understandable. You said something I didn't say, now shove it," she told him.

That's it. She told a reporter to "shove it." Frankly, I'd like to see that sort of behavior more often from our nation's leaders. Now comes the fun bit where I quote a bunch of other crap and then make fun of it. It's what I do. First up to bat:

The Kerry campaign and other Democrats have said the paper is biased against the Kerry campaign and the Democratic Party.

That's right folks. Any time a major media outlet fails to back the Democrats, it's a sign of bias. Conversely, when a major media outlet attacks Republicans, it's a sign of journalistic integrity.

"She is such an enormous asset to our campaign," [Devine] said.

Now that's not a very nice thing to say. I mean, sure, she could afford to lose a pound or two in the caboose, but it's not like she looks any worse than you would expect a woman her age to look.

Republican National Committee Chairman Ed Gillespie said only, "She is obviously a spirited campaigner."

This is my entire line out of the bunch. Perhaps "spirited campaigner," when translated into some foreign language or other, is an anagram for "screaming bitch." I mean, is there any question that that's what Gillespie was thinking?

Asked about the comment Monday on CNN's "American Morning," Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton said she believes that "a lot of Americans will say, 'Good for you -- you go girl.' And certainly that's how I feel about it."

Someone might want to inform Hillary that, "You go girl," went out of fashion in 1999. Even the Jerry Springer set has moved on to greener pastures. Now, for some bullshit so deep you'd be well advised to pull on some hip waders.

Devine said Heinz Kerry has been a great campaigner for her husband. "She's someone who connects with voters, who cares deeply about issues. And the fact that she speaks what's on her mind, I think it's enormously refreshing. It's something the American people want to hear more of."

That's right folks. The billionairess connects with voters. I'm sure she truly, "Cares deeply about issues," but I have a hunch the issues she cares about aren't quite the ones the American people can relate to.

Heinz Kerry will deliver an address at the convention Tuesday night, he said.

"I'm sure the nation wants to hear from her because she can lend so much valuable insight as to who John Kerry is, where he comes from and what he believes," Devine said.

You know, Devine is right. I can't wait to hear from Teresa Heinz. If only they would let her write her own speech.

Update: Roach over at mansizedtarget writes on the same event, pointing out the double standard of the left's calls for a, "Return to civility," in political dialogue.

Update: Ace-o-Spades takes a crack at Heinz's remark, with special emphasis on the fact that, well, she was lying when she claimed not to have said, "Un-American."