Incite -- (v) 1: give an incentive; 2: provoke or stir up; "incite a riot"; 3: urge on; cause to act |
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Written by: BeckYou can quote every economic indicator you choose, none of them presage the return to economic strength like the resurgence of Stupid Stock Advice. Remember the go-go days of, oh, 1997-2000 when all you needed to become an overnight millionaire was a few thousand bucks and a lucky stab at the latest dot-miracle? Sure, that's not what actually happened, but that was the mindset of people at the time. Who doesn't remember the stories of secretaries at Amazon who, thanks to a stock pension plan, became millionaires in a matter of just a couple years? It didn't matter what magazine you picked up (or what hot tips you got online from that newfangled Interwebnet thingy), you couldn't help but find stock tips. When little old ladies from a quilting club can successfully sell a book about stock market investing, you know that things have gotten out of hand, though for some reason the only person in the entire nation who seemed to realize it was Warren Buffet. But that's neither here nor there. The boom is back. I've been watching employment soar, GDP rocket, consumer confidence surge... I'm starting to run out of verbs meaning "to rise rill rill fast." None of those won me over. And then I saw this article. 5 bargain stocks trading under $5 Not all sub-$5 stocks are bargains, but the field is littered with underpriced gems. We found a biotech, an oil industry stock, a dot-com survivor, a retailer and a computer maker with potential -- all selling for less than a 5-spot.You want to make some real money on the stock market? Here, I'll tell you what to do. Watch those five stocks pop today in response to this article, then start selling short. Come back in a week and close the position. I'll wager you rake in at least a 5% gain. The price of a stock has nothing to do with whether or not it's a "bargain." If Microsoft wanted to split their shares enough time, Microsoft stock could sell for under $5. Of course, there'd be about 60 billion shares outstanding, so your "bargain" purchase would be worth fuckall, but then people always tend to forget that the calculation of value requires more than just share price to establish. Long story short: people are suckers, and the more stuff you see like this being marketed to suckers (often written by those who are completely convinced suckers themselves), the better the market is doing. It's time to start buyin' folks,
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