Written by: Beck

Maria Shriver's overbite has always disturbed me. Am I the only one? She's sitting next to George H. W. Bush, amusingly. Sorry, was that off topic?

Pundits: He won the Mr. Universe contest 5 times.

Ahnold: "This is like winning an Oscar... Speaking of acting, one of my movies was called True Lies. And that's what the Democrats should have called their convention." Not really funny, and the quoting your movie career stuff was old back during the California governor recall election. Please, let it stop.

"To stand here and speak on behalf of the President of the United States of America is an immigrant's dream." Followed by a list of great things about the USA. He should try to get a "USA! USA! USA!" chant going. When he says that becoming an American citizen was his proudest day, you can tell he means it.

Update: He's talking of the fear he lived in under the Soviet oppressed Austrian nation. And the USA! USA! USA! chant has started! Can I call 'm or what?

Update: I remember from my one trip to Austria what a huge national hero Schwartzenegger is. I wonder if they're all watching his speech right now. I also wonder how they feel about his line that [paraphrased], "I still love Austria, but my home is the USA."

Now he's quoting his impression on coming to the United States of hearing Nixon speak. I'm not sure how that's going to play. Expect it to be taken out of context in the press. "Nixon talked about free enterprise and getting government off your back and it was like a breath of fresh air to me." This was an Arnold who had just arrived in the States. "I heard that, and I said, 'I am a Republican.'" Followed by a pot-shot at the Kennedys.

"Immigrants tonight, we want you to know how welcome you are in this party." Arnold's an interesting person to be making immigrant outreach. For one thing he's an immigrant himself, but for another, he's governor of the state with the most immigrants, legal and otherwise, of any state in the nation.

Update: "How do you know if you're a Republican? If you believe the government should be accountable to the people, not that the people should be accountable to the government, then you are a Republican... If you believe that a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group, than you are a Republican... If you believe that your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does... If you believe that this country, not the United Nations is the best hope for Democracy..." That last one has the crowd going wild. It's amazing how much the US has turned against the UN. There have been people advocating an American exit from the UN for decades, but they were never really taken seriously until after the UN absolutely failed to support the US in the war on terrorism.

Nuts, he just said something about "terminating terrorism." The California legislature should pass a law banning Schwartzenegger from ever making another pun from one of his movies. I'm guessing now that he's going to wrap things up with an, "I'll be back," to say nothing of the fact that he just dropped a "girly man" reference. Oh well, I guess you stick with what you know. It seems to work for the crowd.

He makes a great point here: Remember 20 years ago when people said that Japan and Germany were overtaking the United States (economically)? It was nonsense, and fear-mongering that India and China are overtaking the US economically is equally nonsense. I don't agree with him entirely, but he makes a compelling point. My opinion is that Japan didn't overtake us (Germany had too many structural problems for long term success (i.e. they were too economically liberal) was because America recognized the threat and responded by adopting Japanese manufacturing methods, working harder, and being conscious of the fact that we couldn't keep making shitty cars and expecting people to buy them.

Update: "Make no mistake, terrorism is a greater threat than communism, because it seeks not just to destroy the individual, but an entire way of life... Bush went to Iraq not because it was popular, indeed the polls said just the opposite, he went to Iraq to combat a threat to the American way of life, that's why we're safer today under President George W. Bush." [paraphrasing there a bit at the end.]

The audience is absolutely eating this stuff up. The networks may not have seen fit to broadcast Giuliani or McCain, but at least the whole nation has an opportunity to watch this one.

Update: Well, he's nearing the end of his speech, and he used the "I'll be back," line, but in a novel way--relating how someone else had used the line on him.

"My fellow Americans, I want you to know that I believe with all my heart that America remains the great idea that inspires the world..." Now he's chanting "4 more years" along with the audience--the first speaker I've seen join in the chant.

Close out with a camera shot of Bush Sr. waving an "ARNOLD" sign. Annnnd cut.