Written by: Beck

I tried to get good and angry and worked up over this article, but I just find myself having an ever more difficult time being surprised, caring, or thinking my outrage is anything less than pissing in the ocean.

Alfred Nobel, when he founded his prize institution, wanted to reward people who made this world a more peaceful place. You know, people who oppose war and whatnot. My guess is he felt guilty about the whole dynamite thing. While Nobel Peace Prize winners from previous years like Yasser Arafat are a mockery of the award, at least you knew the deluded sycophants who granted it actually believed, somehow, that he was on the side of freedom and justice.

Sure, they were rewarding a terrorist who has done more to incite conflict in the Middle East than anyone else in the past century, but there was something poetic about a Peace Prize being awarded to a warmongering shithead.

This though...

Maathai, 64, is the first African woman to win the prize. She was cited for her work as leader of the Green Belt Movement that has planted more than 30 million trees across Africa.

The award marks a new environmental theme in interpreting the 1895 will of Swedish philanthropist Alfred Nobel, the inventor of dynamite who founded the prestigious prize.

Until now it has most usually gone to people seeking to end armed conflicts.

"Peace on earth depends on our ability to secure our living environment," said Ole Danbolt Mjoes, the head of the Norwegian Nobel Committee.

Does this mean the drunken captain of the Exxon Valdez was a war criminal? Peace depends on the environment. Yep. You heard it here first folks. Sorry, I meant the "living environment." 'Cuz you gotta phrase it in the appropriate newspeak terms. Lest someone think you're talking about securing one of the other environments out there.

The Nobel Prize committee should just cut out the crap, announce that all future Peace Prizes will be awarded to Kim Jong Il for not... oh who cares what rationalization they use. The Prize has become such a farce now, I can't make any jokes at its expense that hasn't already been done by the Committee members themselves.