Written by: Beck

You can't have a right-wing jihad against an icon of the international left without the United Nations worshipping set rushing blindly to his defense. The neither obviousness of his failure and guilt nor the magnitude of the offense merit a drop of consideration.

At least that's what I'm forced to conclude after reading Dennis "Chuckles" Kucinich (D-Nuts) and company's letter of support for Annan. And away we go!

We are writing to express our support of United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan, who has recently been under attack by some American lawmakers for the U.N's Oil-for-Food program scandal occurring under his watch. Such an attack on the second-term Secretary-General and Nobel Peace laureate is disgraceful and premature. There has been no hint of impropriety on the part of the Secretary-General, who on numerous occasions has proven his honesty and integrity. Furthermore, we specifically reject all calls for his resignation.

I would say rather that the attack on Annan is long overdue rather than premature, and while there has been plenty of "disgraceful" behavior, it hasn't been on the part of those calling for Annan to step aside. And please don't try to feed me that "Nobel Peace laureate" garbage; if anything, that just throws Annan's failure into even starker relief.

No hint of impropriety? Pardon? Need I even dignify this baldly inaccurate statement with a response?

Secretary-General Annan made his intentions for complete transparency unmistakably clear on April 15, 2004 when he said, "Transparency is the only way to deal with allegations [like those surrounding the Oil-for-Food Program], and by far the best way to prevent corruption from happening in the first place. That, I believe, will be one of the main lessons we have to learn from this affair, whatever the outcome of the inquiry."

That was April. There has been no change whatsoever in the complete lack of transparency at the United Nations. Indeed, continued obstruction of the various Congressional committees investigating the allegations surrounding the oil-for-food rip-off continues at a remarkably consistent clip. And I'd like to think there are lessons to be had from this "affair" more significant than "need for transparency. The transparency should have always been there. That it hasn't simply goes to show how rotten the place has become.

We're down to paragraph five now, and you know what that means folks. It's time to blame the United States!

In the wake of heavy criticism against Secretary General Annan, we want to highlight the shared responsibility by the United States for the alleged fraud and abuse that occurred in the Oil-for-Food Program. The responsibility and enforcement capacity for checking unauthorized oil sales was provided to all UN Member States, of which the United States is one, and in the Gulf area, to the multinational Maritime Interception Force (MIF). The role of oversight for all contracts awarded under the Oil-for-Food Program belonged to the Security Council's 661 Committee, of which the U.S. had a representative for the entire duration of the Program. The UN's Office of Internal Oversight undertook regular program audits and the program's escrow account was audited every six months by external auditors.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, because we failed to prevent UN bureaucrats and European kleptocrats from milking the Oil-For-Food program for everything it was worth, the scandal is all our fault. Shame on us! That's sort of like saying a mugging victim is guilty of robbing himself for failing to stop the robber.

Paragraph six, time to play smoke and mirrors!

It should also be noted that the majority of Saddam's stolen revenues came from illicit oil trade deals outside of the Oil-for-Food Program with Jordan, Syria and Turkey. According to the Duelfer Report, nearly 75 percent of Iraq's illicit income during the sanctions period was generated through oil sales to Iraqi's neighbors. According to Senator Carl Levin, senior democrat on the Permanent Subcommittee to investigate the Oil-for-Food scandal, Iraq's ongoing oil sales to its neighbors were no secret. The United States and the other nations in the United Nations knew of them and deliberately let the trade continue, presumably to maintain the support of Iraq's neighboring countries for the sanctions and to attain other foreign policy objectives.

Textbook case of the Wookie Defense. Saddam made money from scam Y therefore scam X ceases to be of any relevance. Look at the monkey! What were we talking about? Damn that Kucinich is a crafty one!

[...] The United States also failed to take any meaningful action to stop Syria's illegal trade with Iraq.

I'm fairly certain the only way we could have stopped Syria's illegal trade with Iraq--what with how they border each other and all--would have been to invade Syria. Thus we can conclude that Kucinich advocates the invasion of Syria. You heard it here first!

(Hat tip: Misha, who's take down on this is both more profane and more amusing than mine)