Written by: Beck

You've perhaps heard about the human finger found in some Wendy's chili? The woman who found it has been involved in several litigations of a suspicious nature before, so there are those who think perhaps she's the one who introduced the finger. Of course, that still leaves the question, where did the finger come from?

To answer this question, I consulted military and bowling expert Walter Sobchak. Here's the trascript of our (brief) phone conversation.

John Beck: Would you have any idea how to go about getting a human body part?

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't want to know about it, believe me.

John Beck: But how hard would it be go actually go about acquiring a body part?

Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by three o'clock this afternoon. With nail polish.

Well, there you have it folks. And hell, the finger in the chili didn't even have nail polish. Shoddy work if you asked me.