Written by: Beck

I would like to formally request a favor from all of mankind: please don't drive in the left lane of the highway ever again.

Thank you for your consideration.

And just for you, I'll elaborate a bit. You see, I used to rant about fools driving slowly in the fast lane. And by, "Slowly," I mean, "Less than the speed limit plus twenty."

Maybe at some point--perhaps if this post gets any comments--I'll explain exactly why it is that I have a problem with people driving only 10 MPH over the speed limit in the left lane. For right now though, I'll just stick to why I now want none of you at any speed in the left lane.

You see, I've come to realize that every single person on the road, by driving in the left lane, is being inconsiderate to every other person who would like to arrive at their destination marginally faster than other lanes permit. This even applies to people like myself who would rather be going faster than the typical left lane driver, as we leave slower left lane drivers stuck either trying to find an opportunity to slide out of our way for a few seconds, or trying to understand why suddenly someone is driving very close behind them and flashing their high beams.

So, the only possible solution which discriminates against no drivers of any vehicle of any sort? Completely close the left lane off altogether. Once no one can take advantage of the opportunities provided to faster, abler drivers by the left lane, no one will be discriminated against and we will all have moved a step closer to the all-embracing equality towards which idealists everywhere have long aspired.

In case you'd like to share your thoughts with me on this matter, I'll be the guy going 135 down the freeway. On the shoulder.