Written by: Beck

It's that time again--the third Carnival of the Vanities to be hosted at INCITE. This time, by some miracle, the Carnival contains fewer than 50 posts. Rather, it contains a paltry 48. So without further preamble, here are this weeks submissions (and broken into handy-dandy categories!).

Editor's Selections:

First up, Laurence Simon bemoans his continued inability to get the Carnival of the Cats linked by Instapundit. I decided to link this post first or the sweet, sweet irony that this carnival will almost certainly get linked by Instapundit, yet Laurence's cat carnival will continue to go unlinked. My advice: perhaps if your carnivals need to include recipes (either how to cook for cats, or how to cook cats--the difference isn't really all that important).

Getting second-from-top billing is Eric Scheie's post Can't Get No F---ing Respect. (hint: F--- stands for the word "fuck"). In it, Eric discusses the current war in Iraq and the people who compulsively liken it to the Vietnam War. Eric gets second-from-the-top billing because, unlike any other blogger featured here today, I know for a fact that Eric has good taste in German Brewhauses. Which, as far as I'm concerned, is an ideal criterion by which to judge a blogger.

Mr. Snitch has a very insightful post in which he compares the bad press that the current presidential administration is getting with the criticism of another war-time president from America's past.

Dr. Tony has a great, great story about an ER doctor and a really, really bad night.

The title of the skwib's post says it all: Thag want be millionaire! Don't miss the aptly captioned picture of a woolly rhino. No really.

The Right Place has a reinterpretation of the U.S. Constitution along somewhat more... liberal... lines.

The Raving Atheist has an interesting post in which he defends himself for being A) raving, and B) an atheist.

Business and Economics:

First, from Brian J. Noggle, a post of a libertarian bent: politicians are attempting to impose stricter gas mileage rules because the laws of supply and demand aren't up to the task of producing sufficient regulatory paper work.

Multiple Mentality blogs about the importance and tactics of using references in a job search. This post is especially important, as it contains the following sentence: "Let’s face it, up until 6 months ago I was obese, diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder, and to top it all off a repressed homosexual (read: I’m more intimate with my right hand and pornography than I am with other guys)."

From Liberty Cadre, a post about Kenneth Clarke's sudden turn against the Euro.

Steve Pavlina has a post in which he, erm, links to some other post of his, and says something vague about career development. In other news, Steve Pavlina learns why Carnival hosts like submissions to include a brief summary of the post being submitted.

David St Lawrence discusses the importance of retaining some creative time for oneself.

Alan Henderson's post announcing the Fifth Henderson Prize for the Advancement of Liberty doesn't really fit under this category, but then, it didn't really fit under any other categories either. So I put it here. It's short and sweet, so go read it.

FunnyBusiness has an interesting post about a tale of three different auto shops, all looking at repairing the same problem, and all coming up with radically different diagnoses (and price quotes).

Political Calculations has an interesting post (with a chart!) showing the performance of the S&P 500 over the index's lifetime.

War, the War on Terror, and Cindy Sheehan:

Boxing Alcibiades has an interesting post discussing developments in the technology of warfare.

Coyote Blog has a long post discussing the progress of the war in Iraq, along with a lengthy disquisition on the arguments of Cindy Sheehan.

Common Folk Using Common Sense has a post self-explanatorily titled "The Facts on Casey Sheehan."

Mean Ol' Meany has yet another post on Cindy Sheehan. How this woman has managed to garner so much publicity remains beyond me, though it seems at time like she gets far more attention from the right than from the left. Which, you know, is rather bad strategy folks.

The End Zone has an interesting discussion of reporter Michael Yon's interesting adventures as an embedded journalist in Iraq.

Politics:

Mark Nicodemo has a post dedicated to the politics of the national oil reserve and the Katrina hurricane disaster.

WunderKraut has a question for Gary Hart, namely, Are you some kind of moron?

Solomania has a post discussing Islamist journalists and institutional bias at NPR.

Conservative Outpost has a self-explanatory post titled The Immigration Time-bomb. It's definitely worth looking at.

Rip & Read Blogger Podcast has a post including clips from Rumsfeld on the Vietnam analogy, Ralph Neas on Roberts, some whoppers in the NYT, and an audio clip of Cindy Sheehan celebrating "Freedom Fighters coming from other countries." Also known as terrorists.

Forward Biased has a post on Racial Profiling in traffic stops.

The American Mind has a post on the pro-life arguments of Jennifer Roback Morse.

Below the Beltway links to a post by The Anchoress discussing the fruitless summer of the Republican administration, and elaborates on her thoughts.

Searchlight Crusade has a post on the still-developing Able Danger controversy.

Part-Time Pundit has a post criticizing the ACLU and their oddly inexplicable attack on abstinence education.

On Blogging:

The Glittering Eye has a discussion which could well fit into a number of categories. In it, he discusses an issue of relevance to all bloggers: how do you judge what constitutes a credible source, and how should you handle situations where sources have dubious legitimacy.

Blog Business World has a post wherein he (heresy!) declares that bloggers shouldn't worry about their visitor logs.

Free Money Finance has a highly appropriate submission wherein he discusses the best way to drive traffic to your website via Blog Carnivals.

And Now, for Something Completely Different:

This is the catch-all category for posts which couldn't really be categorized. I you've made it this far, you're in luck, as many of the best and funniest posts fall under this category. Enjoy!

Ideas in Progress presents the first ever Tough Guy Awards.

Mad Kane presents some Bush vacation humor.

BigPictureSmallOffice discusses comfort food in the workplace.

Wicked Thoughts presents... how to describe it. Think of it as Red State Nursery Rhymes. Sample:

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

Dissecting Leftism presents a roundup of posts on a host of different topics.

Blog d'Elisson reminisces about an episode from his past. It involves bugs.

Bad Example shares some fun facts about Illinois. Sample: "Due to the extremely harsh winters in Illinois, natives of the state grow thick coats of fur to protect them from the elements, and are frequently clubbed to death by Alaskan tourists."

Political Satire has a report on 9 little known ethnic stereotypes. My favorite: "7. Frenchmen urinate from the fetal position."

Dean Esmay has a thoughtful post in which he reviews The Autobiography of Malcolm X, discusses how its effected him, and links it to the movie American History X.

BloggingBaby has an amusing post discussing the future of explaining technology to children. This post is worth reading for the picture of an Atari 5200 alone.

Chicken Fried Life discusses a topic with far more relevance to my own life than I could wish: computer frustration.

Jack the Ripper has a post about books. And that's all I have to say because his site is a bit hard on the eyes, and I'm burned out. Sorry Jack!

Finally, from The People's Republic of Seabrook, Northstar has a discussion of what exactly qualifies a baseball player as "Latino."

Written by: Beck

Christopher Hitchens writing for the Weekly Standard. Too many good bits to excerpt, so one example will have to suffice:

But puerility in adults is quite another thing, and considerably less charming. "You said there were WMDs in Iraq and that Saddam had friends in al Qaeda. . . . Blah, blah, pants on fire." I have had many opportunities to tire of this mantra. It takes ten seconds to intone the said mantra. It would take me, on my most eloquent C-SPAN day, at the very least five minutes to say that Abdul Rahman Yasin, who mixed the chemicals for the World Trade Center attack in 1993, subsequently sought and found refuge in Baghdad; that Dr. Mahdi Obeidi, Saddam's senior physicist, was able to lead American soldiers to nuclear centrifuge parts and a blueprint for a complete centrifuge (the crown jewel of nuclear physics) buried on the orders of Qusay Hussein; that Saddam's agents were in Damascus as late as February 2003, negotiating to purchase missiles off the shelf from North Korea; or that Rolf Ekeus, the great Swedish socialist who founded the inspection process in Iraq after 1991, has told me for the record that he was offered a $2 million bribe in a face-to-face meeting with Tariq Aziz. And these eye-catching examples would by no means exhaust my repertoire, or empty my quiver. Yes, it must be admitted that Bush and Blair made a hash of a good case, largely because they preferred to scare people rather than enlighten them or reason with them. Still, the only real strategy of deception has come from those who believe, or pretend, that Saddam Hussein was no problem.

Written by: Beck

New Orleans is screwed.

In other news, I'll be hosting the Carnival of the Vanities here in a few days. Have all submissions in by Tuesday afternoon if you want to be included. Send them to INCITE @ gmail {.} com. But, you know, without the spaces and whatnot. If you want a trackback, be sure to include the URL in your submission.

Written by: Beck

Friday, I enjoyed the privilege of meeting one of my favorite bloggers: Eric Scheie of Classical Values. He lives & works in Philadelphia, and we met up for dinner and drinks. I only had three beers, but they were roughly 2 pints each, and German beer is about twice the alcohol content of American beer. By the end of the evening, I'm pretty sure I was bloviating political blather completely at random. Still, I had a great time, and definitely look forward to future beer bashes with the Classical Values crew.

What's more, Eric brought a camera.

Written by: Beck

Juxtaposition.

Written by: Beck

A fine example of why you should read Chris Roach's Mansized Target.

Vaguely funny. If you're into sandwiches that anyway. Which I am.

Much more serious. Same topic. No, not sandwiches.

Some good Goldstein.

Ace of Spades tries to be klever. Oh, and he has an update on the Oil-for-Food scandal.

And finally, a great candidate for quote of the day.

[MATT] LAUER: Don't get me wrong, I think you're probably telling the truth, but there might be a lot of people at home wondering how that might be possible with the conditions you're facing and with the insurgent attacks you're facing... What would you say to people who doubt that morale could be that high?

CAPTAIN SHERMAN POWELL: Well sir, I'd tell you, if I got my news from the newspapers I'd be pretty depressed as well.

Spruiell's analysis is amusing as well. Just click the link.

Written by: Beck

Right here.

Written by: Beck

This is good. Very good. Go read now.

Excerpt:

NARRATOR (Gunnar Biörnstrand)
Just plumb about everybody in Hazzard County has a story to tell 'bout them Duke boys and their existential auto-didactism. This one starts back at the farm, where Bo 'n' Luke are about to find out that Uncle Jesse has a little surprise in store for 'em...

UNCLE JESSE (Max Von Sydow)
Bo, Luke. Come to my side, nephews.

(Cousins Bo and Luke, scions of Uncle Jesse's crumbling moonshine dynasty, enter.)

LUKE (Börje Ahlstedt)
What is it you want, Uncle?

(Bo and Luke exchange long, blank glance; a Hans Wegner clock ticks on a far wall)

UNCLE JESSE
Death.

Written by: Beck

Ganked from Google:

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.

The inimitable John Adams

Written by: Beck

I just got an email scam letter--the typical give us your bank account info, and you'll somehow get a ton of money in return for doing nothing routine. Only this one takes a new format I've not yet seen before.

The scammer is impersonating the United Nations.

The United Nation has bestowed upon you a very great honuor, by contacting
you personally on a recent development to award humanitarian
certificate/funds to those patriotic citizens of the world who will join
us in this great campaign against AIDS.

I could almost see this being a practical joke, except that I don't know anyone who would go to this much effort for a 5 second gag.

Usually these just go in my spam bin, but this time, I decided to respond, simply sending this link without further explanation. I'm guessing I'm not going to get a response.

Written by: Beck

As any experienced beer drinker can tell you, once you break the seal, you're spending the rest of the night in the pisser.

Written by: Beck

Some random links for you, as I've naught else to say.

I smell a publicity stunt.

EU bureaucrats take the all-time world-title for stupid bureaucrat tricks.

Jon Henke bashes the NYT. It's a good thing.

A guilty plea in the ongoing UN Oil-for-Food scandal investigations makes me happy.

Written by: Beck

e. e. cummings once famously observed, "A politician is an ass upon which everyone has sat except a man." Never was that more true than in the case of George Galloway, the British Member of Parliament. I'm not quite sure how British treason statutes are worded, but I'm pretty sure that his current actions would, under a strict, literal interpretation of just about any nations' treason laws, leave him dangling by a rope.

Oh wait, they don't do that any more in Europe. Still, and there are not many people about whom I would say this, dangling from a rope would be just desserts for the Right Honorable George Galloway.

Galloway (on Al-Jazeera TV, July 31, 2005): This started out as a wish to terrorize the world with American power, or as Sharon would say: "Terrrrrrorize" [nice bit of anti-Semitism] the world with American power. But in fact it ended demonstrating the exact opposite. They can control the skies, but only if they don't come within range of an RPG, but they can't control one single street in any part of occupied Iraq. Not one street. Not one street anywhere. These poor Iraqis - ragged people, with their sandals, with their Kalashnikovs, with the lightest and most basic of weapons - are writing the names of their cities and towns in the stars, with 145 military operations every day, which has made the country ungovernable by the people who occupy it. We don't know who they are, we don't know their names, we never saw their faces, they don't put up photographs of their martyrs, we don't know the names of their leaders. I'm sure, for all the times I spent in Iraq, that I never met any of them before. They are not the comfortable in the former regime, they are not the leaders, with maybe one exception: Izzat Ibrahim Al-Durri. They are the base of this society. They are the young men and the young women who decided, whatever their feelings about the former regime - some are with, some are against. But they decided, when the foreign invaders came, to defend their country, to defend their honor, to defend their families, their religion, their way of life from a military superpower, which landed amongst them. And they are winning the war. America is losing the war in Iraq, and even the Americans now admit it. Even the puppet ministers and regime in Baghdad know it. The former puppet minister (Iyad) Allawi admitted it three times in the last month. America is losing the war in Iraq. And this will not change. The resistance is getting stronger every day, and the will to remain as an occupier by Britain and America is getting weaker everyday. Therefore, it can be said, truly said, that the Iraqi resistance is not just defending Iraq. They are defending all the Arabs, and they are defending all the people of the world from American hegemony.

[...]

It's not the Muslims who are the terrorists. The biggest terrorists are Bush, and Blair, and Berlusconi, and Aznar, but it is definitely not a clash of civilizations. George Bush doesn't have any civilization, he doesn't represent any civilization. We believe in the Prophets, peace be upon them. He believes in the profits, and how to get a piece of them. That's his god. That's his god. George Bush worships money. That's his god - Mammon.

More:

Galloway (on ANB TV, July 28, 2005): Most of the children, most of the schools, most of the buses, were bombed by the United States. Let's keep this clearly in perspective: Most of the children who died in Iraq were killed by George Bush, not by Zarqawi. Most of the schools that were wrecked, buses that were bombed, hospitals that were destroyed, lives that were taken, were taken by George Bush, not by Zarqawi. Number two: Most of the resistance in Iraq is not Zarqawi, It's not foreign, whatever "foreign" means when Iraq is occupied by 250,000 foreign armies. Most of their resistance are Iraqis resisting the foreign occupation of their country. Most of the operations which they carry out are against the occupying forces and their collaborators, and this is normal in every liberation struggle.

I do believe going on foreign TV channels to say everything negative about the nation of which you are an elected representative is just about the most reprehensible thing a citizen can do. What I find perhaps the most astonishing is that the British people continue re-electing this world class, grade-A, unrepentant, unapologetic ass.

(Hat tip: PW)

Written by: Beck

John Bolton receives a recess appointment to the UN ambassadorship. Hyperbole ensues on the left side of the aisle.

Upon arriving there, Bolton and his moustache have a conversation with Kofi Annan.

The ultimate achievement ever in the "winning friends and influencing people" department: an American serviceman has been named a sheik by Iraqi village elders. The post, literally, comes with 5 sheep and a parcel of land.

Not all of the Hollywood set are morons.

And finally, an answer to the question: how long will it take for a computer to be developed with the processing power of a human brain? Answer: 6 years.

Written by: Beck

First, the Top Ten Leftist Reactions to the Bolton Nomination. Note that these are all actual quotes, not just some random humorous fabrications. Links provided.

The Hollywood set who say their free speech is being repressed because people aren't forced to listen to their asinine views, this is what actual suppression of free speech looks like (Via the Rottweiler).

Here's a nice little lesson in what the War on Drugs gets you: warrior drug dealers. Trained and paid for, mind you, via your tax dollars. But at least they're keeping the kiddies off of the reefer. Demon weed I tell ya. Makes people... um... loaf around and eat doritos.

Evidently the newly deceased King Fahd pisses off Clowning Glory. Can't say I blame him.

Written by: Beck

David Anderson is asking any and all to lend whatever help they can in the case of a missing pregnant woman, Latoyia Figueroa. David has all the details.

It turns out you don't have to be a gorgeous co-ed in Aruba to go missing.